Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible sollutions?
There can be little doubt that looking after the aged
make
people time-consuming to Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
care
for themselves.This
problem is attribute
to Wrong verb form
attributed
manage
time Wrong verb form
managing
due to
work and cost implications but can be addressed by share
responsibility.
The underlying root of the problem is Replace the word
shared
this
is difficult to manage schedules between works
and Fix the agreement mistake
work
care
for elderly
at home. Correct article usage
the elderly
This
is due to
hectic
timetable in Correct article usage
the hectic
company
and their responsibility with salary and colleagues. Add an article
the company
a company
In addition
, looking after the aged can negatively affect younger people who are providing care
if older people are vulnerable stubborn or difficult to deal with. As a result
, there is a
pressure on individuals not only Correct article usage
apply
work
but Fix the infinitive
to work
also
housework , especially take
Fix the infinitive
to take
care
senior
citizens.
Another factor may be the high cost invest in implications . In Change preposition
of senior
others
words the Correct quantifier usage
other
over sixties
need facilities like nutritional supplements,medicine or health insurance to support their health in various ways. Add a hyphen
over-sixties
Consequently
, individuals pay a lot of money including diet , clothes
for the elderly to help them deal with other issues.
Perhaps a solution to the problem of taking Correct word choice
and clothes
care
for
the older is to be found in the form of sharing responsibility for providing Change preposition
of
care
between different family members like uncles , aunts
. Correct word choice
and aunts
This
situation lead
to reduced stress for Change the verb form
leads
person
to balance Add an article
a person
the person
works
and schedules.
Fix the agreement mistake
work
Thus
, it can be seen that issue
Correct article usage
the issue
from
taking Change preposition
of
care
older
Change preposition
of older
for
children is Change preposition
apply
raising
. Correct your spelling
rising
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in the form of sharin
Correct your spelling
sharing
sharin'
Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the issue of elderly care fairly well but needs more clarity. Make sure to clearly delineate your main points in the introduction and elaborate them systematically in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
While you've managed to point out both problems and solutions, the specifics are somewhat vague. Try to include more detailed and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay organization can be improved. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details. Make sure your essay flows logically from one point to the next and that each paragraph transitions smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion feels somewhat rushed and incomplete. Summarize the key points discussed and provide a final thought or call to action.
task achievement
Good effort in addressing both problems and solutions related to elderly care. This balanced approach shows that you understand the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is an evident attempt to structure your essay with an introduction and conclusion, which gives the essay a clear framework.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.