Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent times, we
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
everywhere in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Parents can allow their children to
use
tablets or smartphones to enhance the learning of their children.
This
essay will argue that the
advantages
of
this
outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate the
disadvantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
situation
, followed by it will explain how the
advantages
outweigh the
disadvantages
. Parents are allowed to
use
smartphones and tablets in their children’s lessons, but that
situation
has some
disadvantages
. Kids move away from paper and pen. In a word, they will forget physical studying materials. When children
use
technology
, they have screen addiction day by day. They can take the easy way out
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their job in the future. And
finally
, if they spend a lot of time on the screen, they will have
deterioration
Correct article usage
a deterioration
show examples
of eyesight. That
situation
also
has
advantages
and
advantages
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. We are living in the
technology
era.
For
this
reason, using
technology
, tablets or smartphones should be taught to kids. If they
use
technology
in their lessons, they will get adapted to new technologies. When
technology
is used in education, kids can learn more productively because there are infinite sources for education on the internet. Children’s visual intelligence improves, thanks to videos and animations. To put it in a nutshell, there are both
advantages
and
disadvantages
in that
situation
, but it has more
advantages
and its
advantages
outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop the main points with more specific examples and explanations. This will make your argument more convincing and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance coherence.
general
Minimize grammatical errors and improve the variety and complexity of sentence structures to showcase better language proficiency.
general
Try to avoid repetition of words or ideas. Use synonyms and different sentence structures to maintain reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, meeting the basic structure requirement.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: