Fewer and fewer children are willing to look after their parents as they get older these days. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.
In these
days, Change preposition
These
due to
hectic
Correct pronoun usage
their hectic
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
children
have no enough time
to take care their
ancestors which Change preposition
of their
becomes
a common issue among families only Wrong verb form
has become
few
of them are ready to look after their Change the article
a few
elders
nowadays. I will explain my views on this
topic in following
paragraphs.
Correct article usage
the following
To begin
with, it is good
decision to give Add an article
a good
time
to your guardians in old age which makes them feel happy and lucky. This
trend will save many parents from old age homes and mentally depressed because when sons left
their mothers and Wrong verb form
leave
farhers
in retirement villages in their elderly years Correct your spelling
fathers
this
makes parents upsets
and depressed Change the verb form
upset
due to
which they suffer from many illnesses or diseases. Moreover
, they feel
regret that why they spent their hard earning money Verb problem
apply
in
Change preposition
on
children
's education and in
their property but now they become Change preposition
apply
burden
on the Add an article
a burden
head
of Fix the agreement mistake
heads
children
. So this
is good
approach that some Add an article
a good
children
are willing to look after their parents.
However
, it is also
considered that if youngsters should
spend their precious Verb problem
apply
time
in care
for their Wrong verb form
caring
elders
it will create problems in their career
as they will be not able to give proper Fix the agreement mistake
careers
time
to reach their goals. In addition
to this
, elders
should try to become more active and do
not think Verb problem
,
unnecessary
and take care Change the word
unnecessarily
by
themselves because if only younger ones Change preposition
of
will be
responsible Wrong verb form
are
of
Change the preposition
for
tgeir
fitness or health guardians become lazy and ill.
In conclusion, it is concluded that both Correct your spelling
their
children
and elders
are responsible for their health. Youngsters should also
try to give moments to older people and adults should become more aware about
their healthy lifestyle and make efforts that they will not be relying upon someone else .Change the preposition
of
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coherence
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that these ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use connector words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence
While your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, the introduction could be more clearly focused and the conclusion more effectively summarised. Try to encapsulate the main idea more succinctly in the introduction and offer a clearer summary in the conclusion.
task
Strengthen your main points by providing specific, relevant examples. For instance, mention specific scenarios where children might struggle to take care of their parents due to career demands while providing examples of support systems that could help mitigate this.
task
Your ideas are generally clear, but strive for more depth. Develop each idea more fully and clearly to improve comprehension. For example, elaborate on how a hectic lifestyle impacts the ability to care for parents and delve deeper into the emotional consequences for both children and parents.
coherence
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking care of elderly parents.
coherence
There is a good attempt to provide a conclusion that addresses the topic.
task
You have made a commendable effort to explore an important social issue by looking at it from different perspectives, showing a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.