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Writing Samples
Band 7

many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. why is this happening? is this a positive or negetive development?

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Nowadays, many individuals prefer to travel to other
countries
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. In my opinion, technological advancements and the
development
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 of various social media platforms have led people to choose international destinations.
Additionally
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, I believe the positive effects of
this
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 trend outweigh the minor negative impacts.
Firstly
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, technological advancement plays a critical role in increasing familiarity with different
countries
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. Social media and cyberspace offer suitable opportunities for sharing experiences and introducing various unspoiled sightseeing spots.
For example
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, Fam Trip, an Instagram page that publishes information about Iran and its features, can inform people worldwide about
this
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 country.
This
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 information on social media can encourage others to travel beyond their national boundaries. One primary positive effect of
this
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development
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 on other
countries
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 is economic growth. When
travelers
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travellers
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 visit these areas, they spend money on facilities and services
such
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 as accommodations, entertainment, and food.
As a result
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, many job opportunities, including restaurant managers, chefs, and park managers, are created in these destinations. Eventually,
this
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development
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 boosts the economy
in
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of
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 the host
countries
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.
However
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, a potential negative effect of
this
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development
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 is traffic congestion. With the influx of people from other
countries
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, the population in the destination areas increases significantly, leading to overpopulation and increased traffic. Yet, in my opinion,
this
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 is not a valid concern because governments can invest in infrastructure and public transportation to address
this
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 problem. In conclusion, technological advancements have led to an increase in international travel.
While
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this
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development
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 may have negative effects under certain circumstances, I believe the positive effects,
such
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 as economic growth and job creation, outweigh the adverse impacts.

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task achievement
Consider providing additional examples or evidence to further support your main points. For instance, you could elaborate on how specific social media trends have boosted tourism in particular regions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and smoothly transitions to the next. Although your essay is generally coherent, aim to make the flow even more seamless.
task achievement
Your argument is well-structured and addresses both the causes and effects of increased international travel.
coherence cohesion
Clear links are made between technological advancements and increased travel, demonstrating logical thinking.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively setting the stage and summarizing your points.
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