Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity among young adults in many countries.
This
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trend can be attributed to the stress relief it offers and the influence of aggressive marketing strategies.
However
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, I believe
this
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is a negative development, and I will present arguments to support
this
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view in
this
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essay.
Firstly
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, many young adults face significant work pressures, including job performance demands, tight deadlines, and the need for career advancement. These pressures often lead to mental health issues
such
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as fatigue, hopelessness, and exhaustion.
For example
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, surveys conducted in the US headquarters of global corporations indicate that shopping is the most common leisure activity among employees seeking to relieve stress. The younger generation,
in particular
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, finds it easy to use credit cards for impulse purchases. Marketing campaigns play a crucial role in
this
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behaviour, as they often exploit psychological tactics
such
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as the fear of missing out and the illusion of scarcity in limited product series.
Consequently
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, consumers frequently make impulsive buying decisions without considering their actual needs or financial capacity, leading to increased financial burdens as they struggle to meet payment deadlines. From my perspective,
this
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trend is negative
due to
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its adverse effects.
Firstly
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, spending money on non-essential items can lead to financial insolvency, undermining future plans and creating distractions from important projects.
For example
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, Korea's financial reports show a significant increase in debt among young people
due to
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their shopping habits, despite awareness of personal financial management.
Furthermore
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,
this
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behaviour results in the overuse of natural resources and labour to produce unnecessary items. Since many purchases are driven by emotions rather than actual needs, resources are wasted, and products often become useless.
This
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, in turn, exacerbates environmental problems by worsening air quality and increasing commercial waste.
To conclude
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, work pressures, easy access to credit, and effective marketing strategies are the main reasons why shopping has become a popular leisure activity among young adults.
However
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,
this
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is a negative development
due to
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the waste of resources, environmental degradation, and the financial instability it can cause. Addressing these issues requires promoting more sustainable and mindful consumption habits among young people.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task, providing a clear response to both questions. However, consider adding more specific examples or statistical data to reinforce your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas flow well, consider integrating more transitional phrases to enhance the natural progression from one paragraph to the next. This will improve overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is well-structured, clearly stating the points you will discuss. This sets a solid foundation for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively connected the reasons for the trend with its negative impacts, creating a coherent narrative.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented and well-supported, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • material possession
  • social experience
  • disposable income
  • tech-savvy
  • convenience
  • fashion trends
  • overconsumption
  • economic stimulation
  • retail industry
  • materialism
  • debt
  • consumer spending
  • browsing
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