IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people nowadays perfer online sjopping .Is it a positive or negative development

#people #perfer #development
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Nowadays,the nature of shopping has changed dramatically and people have started to do shopping online and purchase through the Internet.In my point of view, I find shopping online the most convenient way of shopping today which, can keep up with put fast world today.
To begin
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 with,online shopping can offer a variety of
products
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 which ,can be easily checked using comments and buyer's reviews.
In other words
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,you can get original
products
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 from different companies in one place without the need to spend a lot of time shopping ,like the ordinary way of shopping.
For instance
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,sites like Noon and Ali Baba have made it easier for us to buy different things like clothes,shoes and devices with the same guarantee you can get from ordinary shopping with just a few steps; including selecting the items
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then
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and then
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 buying with your card and
finally
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 getting the product with 14 days at maximum.What can be said is that online shopping offers a lot of
products
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 with an easy way to buy.
In addition
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 ,Shopping through the Internet
havesaved
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has saved
 lots of time and effort plus it offers bargains for
consumers
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 on every item they choose from
As
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apply
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, different merchants encourage buyers by making great offers which enhances impulse buying.An eminent example is NOON which enables
consumers
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 to buy items from different merchants which in return makes it easy for
consumers
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 to buy things with high quality and at a reasonable price. In conclusion,after the essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that shopping through the Internet has lots of merits.I am convinced that online shopping is beneficial for
consumers
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 because it saves both time and money and gives
consumers
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 the variety of
products
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 that they need.
Submitted by ahmedteleb500 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on online shopping, acknowledging its convenience and variety as major advantages. However, addressing potential drawbacks, if any, would provide a more balanced discussion and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are clear and supported with specific examples, avoid repetition and improve the fluency of your sentences. Consider linking your ideas more fluidly to enhance readability.
language
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases, such as 'nature of shopping' and 'can be reiterated.' Maintaining consistent and clear language will improve comprehension and the overall quality of your writing.
structure
Your introductory and concluding paragraphs are clear and effective in conveying your main idea. They frame the essay well and guide the reader through your argument.
specific examples
You provided relevant examples and details to support your points, such as referencing specific online shopping platforms like Noon and Ali Baba. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates real-life applicability.
coherence
You have a well-organized structure with distinct paragraphs for different points, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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