The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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The damage
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the natural environment increased alongside
with
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apply
show examples
the growth of
consumer
goods
production
. Product packaging wastes and the unprocessed chemical materials involved in
production
processes are the main key factors why
this
issue
happened. Government involvement is crucial to
solve
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solving
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this
issue
by establishing sets of
regulations
to govern
consumer
Correct article usage
the consumer
show examples
goods
indsutry
Correct your spelling
industry
. The
production
of
consumer
products
ruin
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ruins
show examples
the environment
due to
two main reasons, namely unrecyclable packaging and the involvement of multiple chemical
products
throughout the manufacturing processes.
Hard to recycle
Add a hyphen
Hard-to-recycle
show examples
packaging,
such
as plastics, will end up
on
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
landfill for a long time before it
dissolve
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dissolves
show examples
. Tons of
plastics
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plastic
show examples
waste will damage the soil
as well as
the air around the landfill.
Furthermore
, several chemical materials utilized during the
production
are not well managed and neutralized. Usually, these chemical wastes will be thrown directly
to
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into
show examples
the river,
thus
impact
Wrong verb form
impacting
show examples
the water
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
plays an important role
to solve
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in solving
show examples
this
issue
. Sets of
regulations
can be established to govern the
consumer
goods
industry, starting from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
raw material preparation
until
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to
show examples
waste management.
For instance
, national authorities can set the standard on the type of
wastes
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waste
show examples
and percentage of remaining particular chemicals that
allowed
Add a missing verb
are allowed
show examples
to be dumped into the environment.
The water
Correct article usage
Water
show examples
pollution can be highly
surpressed
Correct your spelling
suppressed
surprised
if these
regulations
successfully
Add a missing verb
are successfully
show examples
applied to all the
consumer
products
manufacturers. Rapidly increased
consumer
goods
production
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
the stability of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, mainly
due to
the
unrecylable
Correct your spelling
recyclable
unrecyclable
packaging and unneutralized chemical
products
involved in the
production
processes. I believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should implement sets of
regulations
to solve
this
issue
.
Submitted by rizkyy.utama22 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure the essay maintains clear and comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. For example, the introduction could be reinforced by explicitly stating the focus of the essay (causes and solutions) in a clearer manner.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen the main points. For instance, instead of mentioning 'several chemical materials', specify particular chemicals and their known impacts.
logical structure
The essay presents a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, moving from causes to solutions smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and related to the main topic of the essay.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and explained effectively in the body paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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