IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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The damage to the natural environment increased alongside
with
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the growth of
consumer
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goods
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production
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. Product packaging wastes and the unprocessed chemical materials involved in
production
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 processes are the main key factors why
this
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issue
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 happened. Government involvement is crucial in solving
this
Linking Words
issue
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 by establishing sets of
regulations
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 to govern the
consumer
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goods
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 industry. The
production
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 of
consumer
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products
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 ruins the environment
due to
Linking Words
 two main reasons, namely unrecyclable packaging and the involvement of multiple chemical
products
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 throughout the manufacturing processes. Hard-to-recycle packaging,
such
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 as cans from soda
products
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, will end up in a landfill for a long time before it dissolves. Tons of canned waste will damage the soil
as well as
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 the air around the landfill.
Furthermore
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, several chemical materials utilized during the
production
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 are not well managed and neutralized. Usually, these chemical wastes will be thrown directly into the river,
thus
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 impacting the water quality. The government plays an important role in solving
this
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issue
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. Sets of
regulations
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 can be established to govern the
consumer
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goods
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 industry, starting from raw material preparation to waste management.
For instance
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, national authorities can set the standard on the type of waste and percentage of remaining particular chemicals that are allowed to be dumped into the environment. Water pollution can be highly suppressed if these
regulations
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 are successfully applied to all
consumer
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 product manufacturers. Rapidly increased
consumer
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goods
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production
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 impacts the stability of nature, mainly
due to
Linking Words
 the recyclable packaging and unneutralized chemical
products
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 involved in the
production
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 processes. I believe that the government should implement sets of
regulations
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 to solve
this
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issue
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on providing a clearer overall structure. Ensure each main point is distinctly separated and well explained throughout the essay.
task achievement
While some examples are provided, try to include a bit more elaboration on those examples to ensure full clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively and provides relevant examples of issues caused by consumer goods production.
coherence and cohesion
The viewpoints are logical and presented clearly, allowing the reader to understand the main arguments being made in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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