IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowdays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation why might this be this case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed.

#nowdays #people #self #work #company #organisation #be #case
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One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increasing interest in startups. Many people believe that working for themselves is more stressful as compared to working for someone else.
This
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 essay will explain why more concerns to becoming an entrepreneur like holidays, finance required.
Firstly
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, no holidays and
time
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 and a half on working at weekends. The main reason is that,
due to
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 being self-employed, you have to work on your own and buy tools and equipment from your own pocket. Sometimes the a lack of finance and the need to grow the business.
For example
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, in running a small company, the owner has to be involved in all jobs, because of the shortage of cash and the director of the company cannot afford extra employees.
As a result
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, it is evident that small companies cannot get big orders and mainly close down in a few years.
Secondly
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, workload and payments are not received on
time
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. The primary reason is that sometimes customers do not pay on
time
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, in that case, the owner of the business cannot buy stocks for other clients
as well as
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 clients start losing their faith in that business.
Moreover
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, it has been seen a number of times, that proprietors are unable to provide services on
time
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.
In addition
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, in case of an emergency, if any family is sick at home or plans with family on a trip, it becomes very hard to get
time
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 off from work.
As a consequence
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, it is evident that small entities failed within a five-year period. In conclusion, following the analysis of the disadvantages
due to
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 single hand operator, it becomes very difficult to satisfy all the buyers at the same
time
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 and people do not believe any mistake made by the owner.
Further
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, it is predicted that people do not want to take risks in businesses because they are worried if got lose, it will be difficult to feed their families in the future as well.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt. However, the explanation could be expanded with more specific details or examples to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main points and is well-developed. Consider adding more detailed examples to provide a stronger support to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is fairly good. The content flows well from one point to the next, but try to avoid repetition and redundant phrases to ensure clarity and conciseness.
coherence cohesion
Your use of cohesive devices is appropriate, but make sure you are not overusing them or that they are not interrupting the flow of ideas. Aim for a natural progression from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which add to the overall coherence and cohesiveness of the content.
task achievement
You have identified relevant points, which directly address the question posed. The structure of your response is clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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