The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
Nowadays,
the technology
advancement has Replace the word
technological
direct
influence on our lives, some believe thatAdd an article
a direct
,
Remove the comma
apply
the
Replace the word
scientific
science
breakthrough
must Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
rais
people’s Correct your spelling
raise
life
quality. I agree with this
statement to some extent, but we should consider that we are not alone on this
planet.
On the one hand, science
should boost different aspects of human’s
Change noun form
human
life
and increase people’s life
quality. Firstly
, in the field of medicine, science
improvement has Replace the word
scientific
positive
impact on our lifespans and Add an article
a positive
decrease
the rate of mortality Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
noticeablely
, Correct your spelling
noticeably
noticeable
for example
by a
Correct article usage
apply
simply
vaccination in our childhood we are immune Change the word
simple
against
numerous diseases. Change preposition
to
Secondly
, by
transportation development, individuals are able to experience Change preposition
through
more
comfortable Correct article usage
a more
life
than before and technology provides us a
safe and fast journey. Add the preposition
with a
Finally
, by inventing various types of machines, most of our responsibilities are taken by robots which offer us more free time and a convenient life
.
On the other hand
, science
should not only serve humans. There are tremendous numbers of creatures, who are sharing the Earth with us, and the majority of them are in danger of extinction because of human activities, scientists should address some solutions to tackle this
problem. Furthermore
, air pollution which is caused by carbon emission
could be solved by Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
scientists
contributions, Change noun form
scientists'
scientist's
for instance
, by using more renewable energies such
as solar panel
and wind Fix the agreement mistake
panels
turbine
Fix the agreement mistake
turbines
instead
of fossil fuel
.
In conclusion, my view is that Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
science
should rise
our Correct your spelling
raise
life
qualifications, meanwhile , the environmental issues and other creatures must not be forgotten.Submitted by Negar_seddigh on
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task response
Ensure your introduction clearly conveys your stance and briefly outlines your main points more effectively. This will provide a stronger framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the flow of your essay. This will help to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
task response
Make sure that your examples are precise and thoroughly explained to support your main points better.
coherence cohesion
Try to elaborate more on the conclusion to succinctly summarize your main points and restate your stance clearly.
task response
You provided a good combination of arguments and examples for both sides of the discussion, which adds depth to your task response.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are generally well-structured, covering several aspects of the topic in a clear, organized manner.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.