The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
the technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancement has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
influence on our lives, some believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
science
breakthrough
Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
show examples
must
rais
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
people’s
life
quality. I agree with
this
statement to some extent, but we should consider that we are not alone on
this
planet. On the one hand,
science
should boost different aspects of
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
life
and increase people’s
life
quality.
Firstly
, in the field of medicine,
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
improvement has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact on our lifespans and
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
the rate of mortality
noticeablely
Correct your spelling
noticeably
noticeable
,
for example
by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
simply
Change the word
simple
show examples
vaccination in our childhood we are immune
against
Change preposition
to
show examples
numerous diseases.
Secondly
,
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
transportation development, individuals are able to experience
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
comfortable
life
than before and technology provides us
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
safe and fast journey.
Finally
, by inventing various types of machines, most of our responsibilities are taken by robots which offer us more free time and a convenient
life
.
On the other hand
,
science
should not only serve humans. There are tremendous numbers of creatures, who are sharing the Earth with us, and the majority of them are in danger of extinction because of human activities, scientists should address some solutions to tackle
this
problem.
Furthermore
, air pollution which is caused by carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
could be solved by
scientists
Change noun form
scientists'
scientist's
show examples
contributions,
for instance
, by using more renewable energies
such
as solar
panel
Fix the agreement mistake
panels
show examples
and wind
turbine
Fix the agreement mistake
turbines
show examples
instead
of fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
. In conclusion, my view is that
science
should
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
our
life
qualifications, meanwhile , the environmental issues and other creatures must not be forgotten.
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your introduction clearly conveys your stance and briefly outlines your main points more effectively. This will provide a stronger framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the flow of your essay. This will help to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
task response
Make sure that your examples are precise and thoroughly explained to support your main points better.
coherence cohesion
Try to elaborate more on the conclusion to succinctly summarize your main points and restate your stance clearly.
task response
You provided a good combination of arguments and examples for both sides of the discussion, which adds depth to your task response.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are generally well-structured, covering several aspects of the topic in a clear, organized manner.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: