Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

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Obesity and poor nutrition remain widespread in developed countries, and some argue that taxing junk food could reduce these problems.

However

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, I disagree, as people’s eating habits are largely driven by personal preference and social influence, not taxes.

Firstly

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, those who regularly consume fast food are unlikely to change their habits simply because of added costs. Even if warned about health risks, many would find ways around restrictions, and younger people may resist their parents' efforts to limit unhealthy cuisine.

For example

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, parents are prone to take control over what their children eat and try to explain the harmful action of damaging meals.

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, youth are adapted to adults’ techniques of persuasion and may try deceiving strangers or relatives in order to ask them to lend some money for entertainment.

Secondly

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, people are heavily influenced by stereotypes and advertising, especially online.

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, ads promote fast cuisine as trendy yet omit the dangers of additives that could appear because of overindulging in junk food.

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, children are used to exploring via social media

such

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as YouTube or TikTok, and announcements show how it is gripping to consume,

whereas

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they do not tell about the inward structure of a product that contains saturated fat, sugar, and salt, contributing to heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and obesity.

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, fried potatoes contain plenty of salt and overused oil, corresponding to weight gain and fatness if humans do not

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some exercise to stay in shape. In summary, obesity and poor nutrition in developed countries cannot be resolved simply by taxing unhealthy cuisine, as personal choices and social influences play a significant role in eating habits.

Submitted by acaitaz on Fri Nov 01 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a strong argument against the idea of taxing fast food as a solution to poor nutrition and obesity. However, consider also acknowledging the other side of the argument briefly, before refuting it with your points. This will make your essay more balanced.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that all your points are linked together smoothly for even better coherence. Using more linking words like 'Moreover,' 'Thus,' or 'Furthermore,' can help tie your points more neatly.

task achievement

You've effectively built a case citing individual habits and the influence of advertising as primary reasons against the tax argument, demonstrating strong task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical flow and provides a clear introduction and conclusion.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

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Too much emphasis is placed on going university for academic study. People should be encouraged to do vocational training, because there is a lack of qualified tradespeople such as electricians or plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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