In maby countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
In
this
digital age, an increasing amount of money is poured into modern technology
by governments to cope with the general public due to
the fact that crime rates are soaring. It is the writer's conviction that such
an approach is satisfactory as it enhances both security and living standard
.
It must be acknowledged that social evils are one of the most burning issues in metropolises. Fix the agreement mistake
standards
That is
the reason why many local authorities have already installed hundreds of street cameras to alleviate the problem. With these smart devices, those who commit a crime can be tracked down from long
distance and arrested by the police more easily. Add an article
a long
Additionally
, the systems may be connected internationally, as can be seen in the case of an international kidnapper from Japan, who was followed by video footages
and caught soon after his criminal commitment in 2014.
The use of national expenditures for Fix the agreement mistake
footage
technology
application is reasonable. Firstly
, technology
makes human life safer. Thanks to weather forecasts, people can organize work efficiently and reduce the risk of, for example
, accidents on rod
Add an article
the rod
while
travelling in rain
. Add an article
the rain
Secondly
, the arrival of payphones enables citizens to make phone calls in case their mobile phones are out of batteries. Moreover
, free hot spots are constructed to cater for the demand of
internet connection of people Change preposition
for
especially
teenagers. Add the comma(s)
, especially
Therefore
, investment in technology
benefits human life a lot.
In conclusion, the rise in hi-tech devices on streets helps to reduce crime. Furthermore
, technology
installation in public not only guarantees residents' safety but also
improves their lives.Submitted by zky1705202 on
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coherence cohesion
Aim to vary sentence structures and transition words to add clarity and richness to your essay.
task achievement
Consider balancing the discussion more by exploring potential drawbacks or considerations of investing in new technology, if any, to provide a more nuanced view.
task achievement
The essay starts with a clear thesis statement, outlining the reasons for investment in technology and the writer's stance on its appropriateness, which is crucial for task response.
task achievement
You've effectively used examples, like the international kidnapper case, to support your points, which enhances the essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments made, reiterating the essay's stance, which is a strong aspect of coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?