Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest for this issue?

#decades #media #image #women

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Being petite is the new image of high-quality

women

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media

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over the

last

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decades, especially for young girls. There are various factors that contribute to

this

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problem;

Therefore

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this

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essay will provide some problems and effective solutions. First and foremost, the issue of being super thin is very harmful to

women

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's health because it may harm their skin, their inner organs or even their feelings and cause them so many mental illnesses

such

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as depression or anxiety.

In other words

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, when females want to be thin, they eat less and eating less decreases their body's vitamins and proteins and it may be very dangerous for them.

For example

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, a 2013 study from Harvard University showed that 63% of teens are in danger of mental problems only because of their diet. So, being thin may cause huge problems for

women

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and girls. To solve those causes effectively,

firstly

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, the government should take action, control the

media

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and prevent social

media

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from sparing these kinds of wrong information because it can definitely decrease the number of damages.

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, educating people is a fast way to tackle

this

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issue and when females understand the ideal life better, they will choose the right way.

For example

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,if we teach young students that being pretty has nothing to do with their size, we will have a better society.

Thus

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, there are useful ways to solve

this

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issue and we can use them easily.

To sum up

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, the

media

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is showing the wrong picture of an ideal woman to society and it can harm all the people. we can prevent

this

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action easily by educating

women

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and

as a result

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, we can have a better life and healthier people.

Submitted by alikiadaah on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, presenting the problems caused by promoting the image of young, thin women and potential solutions. However, make sure to clearly define and elaborate on each point to improve the clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the logical sequence is generally clear, the connections between the ideas can be further strengthened by using more transitional phrases.

coherence cohesion

While the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, ensure it reinforces the essay's key arguments and conclusively wraps up your discussion. A slightly more detailed conclusion would further strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the prompt by outlining specific problems and suggesting viable solutions. Addressing both aspects demonstrates a thorough understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly presented, which helps in maintaining the overall flow of the essay.

task achievement

Examples provided, such as the Harvard study, effectively support the main points. This adds credibility to the argument being made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest for this issue?

Your opinion

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Most companies and organizations requires their employees to wear uniforms to work. what are the jobs that need uniform? what are the disadvantages of wearing uniforms to work?