Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of the most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #years #time #life #adult #happiness #spite #responsibilities

There is no doubt that staying happy in any age group is important for mental health.

Although

some believe that most people are happy in their teenage years, others argue that despite high responsibilities adult

life

brings more happiness. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides and show my support for the former. A person's childhood is the best phase of

life

Although

you have to study and take exams, there isn't any burden of responsibility.

For instance

, when I was in high school, most of the time I used to read and play outdoors. Apart from that, I did not have to think about earnings or managing the budget for my family.

This

is the age where you explore and create your own ideas. You do not have to worry about what others will think about you as you have your own perspective.

This

is not the same with adult

life

because there are family responsibilities which you have to handle.

Firstly

, you have to make sure that you earn enough to make your livelihood.

Secondly

, maintaining a work-

life

balance without disturbing your own mental health.

Although

you start to earn and have enough money to go on trips, time becomes a constraint. When we think we have taken care of everything, another tension comes in line. In conclusion, I would say that, despite the fact that in adult

life

we have all the resources, the teenage years are special and full of happiness as we are carefree with no baggage.

Submitted by sandeepniet17 on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task achievement

To further strengthen your task response, you might include more specific examples and counterpoints. This helps to provide a comprehensive discussion of both views before forming a supported opinion.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, you could improve coherence by using more transition phrases and connecting sentences to make the flow of ideas smoother. This helps in guiding the reader through your essay seamlessly.

task achievement

Your essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and clearly states your own opinion, which aids in meeting the task achievement criteria well.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical structure throughout your essay with well-rounded paragraphs and a concluding section that restates your opinion in light of the points discussed.

task achievement

Your use of personal examples, such as your experience in high school, adds authenticity and relevancy to your discussion points. This is a strong point for supporting your main ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

teenage years
happiest time
freedom to explore
discovering the world
strong friendships
relationships
sense of adventure
new experiences
adult life
greater responsibilities
a sense of fulfillment
career achievements
personal accomplishments
long-term relationships
financial independence
life choices
satisfaction
support
immense joy

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