IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #information #features #comparisons
Presented for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consideration is the line graph
depicts
Wrong verb form
depicting
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of closures and working
shops
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 particular country from 2011 to 2018. In general, the two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
shops
 had the same trajectory which saw
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 downward trend throughout the timeframe.
Additionally
, despite experiencing the highest number in the first decade, opening
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 had a dramatic drop
at the end
 of
Correct article usage
the entired
show examples
entired
Correct your spelling
entire
 period. Commencing with the openings, in
further
 detail, the figures stood at around 8500 before dramatically falling down to 4000 in 2012.
In contrast
, there was a rapid increase in the next 2 years which went up to just over 6000
shops
 and
then
 decreased back to 4000 in 2015.
However
, from 2015 to 2016, the number of opening
shops
reamained
Correct your spelling
remained
 stable at 4000. During the period of the
last
 2 years, there was a small fluctuation before hitting its lowest point at 3000 in 2018. Turning to the remaining statistic,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 could be seen that the number of closures started at around 6300
shops
 and
then
dropping
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 by 6000 in 2012.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in 2013, the figures reached a peak at over 7000 before
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a signification plunge
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 under 1900
shops
 in 2015. Next year, it tended to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
again to over 5000 before stabilizing
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 5100
shops
at the end
 of the timeframe
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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