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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some peolple think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

#peolple #language #communication #outweigh
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The majority of
people
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 believe that the invention of a new
language
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 for worldwide communication is a recurring argument.
This
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 writer argues that the benefits of improving the quality of living and convenience outweigh the drawbacks of confusion. The most advantageous factor of establishing a different
language
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 is that can help impaired
people
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 communicate with normal
people
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.
In other words
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, global
language
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 can foster human relationships because of the convenience and easily of use. From prior knowledge, most blind
people
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 in the world use the braille to read or communicate with each other effectively.
Thus
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, finding a new
language
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 makes the
life
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lives
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 of citizens go
through
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apply
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smoothly. Developing quality of living must
also
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 be considered. It must be recognized that
people
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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 travel around the world easily without worrying about that nation's
language
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 could acquire knowledge from another country easily by using
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the global
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global
Correct article usage
the global
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language
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. Thereby, visitors would have a conversation with native
people
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 smoothly about the tradition or attraction to improve their
life
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lives
show examples
.
However
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, the confusion when speaking is a recurring argument. It can be understood that the multilingual person might be confused when having a conversation with other
people
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.
This
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 is
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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true, but by communicating with foreign
people
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, would not control their native
language
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 because of the familiarity or studying too much
language
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. Taking all points into account, the possible impact of confusion is outweighed by the opportunity to develop life quality and communicate easily.
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and outlines the main points, but there are some areas where the argument can be elaborated further. Consider providing more detailed examples or statistics to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of the essay are unclear due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Review to ensure clarity and fluidity in your writing. For example, consider rephrasing 'This is my true, but by communicating with foreign people...' to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are structured logically and ideas follow a reasonable progression. However, transitions between sentences and paragraphs can be improved to enhance the flow of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect your points smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument well.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and provide a balanced argument on the pros and cons of a new international language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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