Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives #celebrities #media

It is not suggested that totally share the personal

lives

of famous

people

by the

media

Although

some

celebrities

can be positive models for young

people

, I totally agree that private

lives

must not be openly shared with the public by the

media

. Some

celebrities

could be role models for young

people

because of their successes and achievements. The main reason is that it is possible to motivate young

people

to work hard or study by sharing the

lives

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

in the press or social

media

Therefore

this

sharing may be important, because we all want some kind of motivational force in our

life

On the other hand

, some

celebrities

do not want to share their private

lives

. It would impact their work and the security of information.

Furthermore

, it

also

may be a risk to their relationships. Negative thoughts of the public about their private

lives

could emotionally damage them.

As a result

, their mood and work productivity would reduce.

Moreover

celebrities

' personal information, bank passwords, and codes might be revealed by totally sharing their private

lives

For example

, in 2014, Micheal Tayson, who is one of the most famous sportsmen, was interviewed about their private

life

in the press. After two days, nearly 28000$ was stolen from his bank account. After investigations, it was clear that the main reason was sharing information about his private

life

Thus

, totally sharing the personal

lives

celebrities

would be dangerous for their

life

. In conclusion,

celebrities

can be role models for young

people

However

, their private

lives

must not be totally shared by the

media

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Jun 03 2024

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example

Consider including more specific examples to support your arguments, especially in the second body paragraph.

language

Try to maintain a consistent tone and formal language throughout the essay. Phrases like 'totally share' can be replaced with more formal alternatives such as 'fully disclose.'

structure

While your main points are clear, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and elaborates on it completely. This will improve clarity and readability.

structure

Your introduction and conclusion are effectively written, providing a clear position on the topic.

structure

The logical structure of your essay is strong, with a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next.

example

You have used specific examples to support your main points, which adds strength to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

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Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The major cities in around the world continue growth, the more problems they may have. What the problems young people are caused by develop? What can be done to solve this?

In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others belive that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people prefer watch foreign film rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should government give more financial support to local movie industries?