IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all humanity. Others take the opposite view and say that money for this type of research is wasted. Discuss these 2 opinions / positions.

#people #money #space #research #humanity #type #positions
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Many people believe that spending
money
 on
space
 to
research
 is beneficial for mankind.
While
 others assert that the
money
 spent on it is wasted. In
this
 essay, I will analyze both sides of
this
 argument and explain why I believe that it is not worth investing
money
 in
space
research
. On the one hand, a lot of citizens assert that it is the right thing for humanity to spend
money
 on
space
research
. They reason that because the universe is vast, we could find some useful information to improve our lives if we know more about what is outside the earth.
Moreover
, many projects have been launched and it did bring great impacts on people.
For instance
, we can use the internet smoothly these days thanks to the satellites, and we can
also
 predict the patterns of tides based on the moon to avoid the damage that they can cause/ to help people avoid their damage.
On the other hand
, I would side with those who suppose that
research
 outside the earth should not be invested as it is wasteful.
This
 is because the government budget is limited, and they
also
 need to use their fund wisely for other essential things
such
 as improving education, infrastructure, commerce, etc. If the government invest more in education, the country will have a well-educated workforce that will not only be able to take care of themselves but
also
 contribute to the prosperity of the country.
Thus
, it is unnecessary to spend a huge amount of
money
 on
space
 exploration, we could gain nothing from it though we put a lot of effort and time into it.
To sum up
, even though
space
research
 can be of great benefit, I am of the opinion that the government should invest less
money
 in
space
 so that they can use public finances to improve facilities
instead
.
Submitted by weezel on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you have a clear position throughout the essay that addresses all parts of the task.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples that highlight your arguments effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that the structure of your essay is clear, and ideas are logically organized and connected with appropriate transition words.
Coherence and Cohesion
To score higher, introduce a more sophisticated range of structures and sentence types.
Coherence and Cohesion
You may need to provide a more distinctly structured conclusion that encapsulates your viewpoint effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological breakthroughs
  • satellite communications
  • global perspective
  • immediate needs
  • disproportionate
  • terrestrial technologies
  • pressing issues
  • fundamentally change
  • collective human challenges
  • earth's place within it
  • emergency response systems
  • studying phenomena
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