IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#life #work #time #people
Nowadays, many people
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 asked to choose between a life that
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
work
 and working full-time, people always choose not to
work
. The writer totally agrees with
viewpoint
Correct determiner usage
this viewpoint
show examples
 because they can
go to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
travel and reduce
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stress.
Firstly
, humans can enjoy
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
show examples
 that don’t worry about
work
 in the company.
Moreover
, they can invite to travel with their friends or family together,
this
is help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them create
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 more friendly and funnier.
Additionally
, they have much time to do housework or do volunteer
such
 as
pant
Correct your spelling
painting
show examples
 trees on vendors, cleaning the streets, join club of government.
This
 is the fact in
finland
Change the capitalization
Finland
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans are not compulsory to go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
 and complete
deadline
Fix the agreement mistake
deadlines
show examples
. Moving on
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other point
Change the wording
another point
other points
show examples
, a life without
work
 will not make them
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 about
work
. At present, many people
work
 all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
Correct pronoun usage
their healthy
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
. They will feel
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 or exhausted.
As a result
,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 might do leisure activities in order to avoid being tired.
To sum up
, humans always choose a life without
work
 and
writer
Correct article usage
the writer
show examples
 agrees with
this
 idea.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and is well connected to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to show your language proficiency. However, make sure you use them correctly to avoid misunderstandings.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a clear opinion, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You have some interesting ideas, such as traveling with family or friends and doing volunteer work, which add depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
What to do next:
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