Write about shopping. Would you prefer shopping in a store or shopping on the internet (online)? What are the benefits of your choice? What are the possible problems of your choice?

#store #internet #choice

In the modern era, there are different ways to buy new things. I'd personally rather to shop online because of numerous reasons which I'm going to explain in the rest of

this

essay. Online shopping can benefit us in disparate aspects of our lives.

Firstly

, some individuals like me, do not have sufficient time to go to a store and purchase something.

Hence

, they can buy that thing online in just a few minutes and kill two birds with one stone.

Secondly

, because of transportation, going to a shop can intensify the environmental concerns and

this

is something online shopping counteracts.

For example

, if each person wants to go to a store, there will be a lot of cars on the road but in online shopping, just a delivery guy can take all packages to customers.

Finally

, online shopping has made everything accessible to

people

who live in remote areas and with

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

, they can even buy products from other countries.

On the other hand

, online shopping has brought some challenges to the community. Sometimes,

products

Correct article usage

the products

show examples

which

people

receive are different from what they had ordered.

This

is prevalent specifically

while

ordering a type of cloth.

The companies

Correct article usage

Companies

show examples

should manage an abundance of orders,

therefore

, a lot of mistakes can occur.

Last

year,

for instance

, I ordered a blue shirt but when I received it, it was red and it was my father's size, as well.

Additionally

, online shopping can make a great opportunity for hackers and criminals to rob

people

's personal information and abuse them. So, some individuals can lose everything they have because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of security on the internet.

To conclude

, except

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

drawbacks that were mentioned, online shopping can play a prominent role in society and save

people

a lot of time, money and effort in the future.

Submitted by yasinisback8 on Fri Apr 12 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that your examples and arguments are directly relevant to the question. Adding more specific examples could enrich your essay further.

Coherence and Cohesion

Increase the variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence. Although your essay flows well, using a wider range of connectors could improve the reader's experience.

Task Response

You've effectively outlined both the benefits and challenges of online shopping, which shows a balanced analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, rounding off your argument well.

Task Achievement

You've provided specific examples, such as the personal anecdote about receiving the wrong item, which helps illustrate your point effectively.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Convenience
Broader selection
Physical stores
Specialized goods
Compare prices
Online reviews
Exclusive discounts
Promotions
Risk of fraud
Scams
Shipping delays
Verify the legitimacy
In-person transactions
Inspect products
Purchasing decisions
Dissatisfaction

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Write about shopping. Would you prefer shopping in a store or shopping on the internet (online)? What are the benefits of your choice? What are the possible problems of your choice?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advatnages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

(QG) In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?