Write about shopping. Would you prefer shopping in a store or shopping on the internet (online)? What are the benefits of your choice? What are the possible problems of your choice?
In the modern era, there are different ways to buy new things. I'd personally rather to shop online because of numerous reasons which I'm going to explain in the rest of
this
essay.
Online shopping can benefit us in disparate aspects of our lives. Linking Words
Firstly
, some individuals like me, do not have sufficient time to go to a store and purchase something. Linking Words
Hence
, they can buy that thing online in just a few minutes and kill two birds with one stone. Linking Words
Secondly
, because of transportation, going to a shop can intensify the environmental concerns and Linking Words
this
is something online shopping counteracts. Linking Words
For example
, if each person wants to go to a store, there will be a lot of cars on the road but in online shopping, just a delivery guy can take all packages to customers. Linking Words
Finally
, online shopping has made everything accessible to Linking Words
people
who live in remote areas and with Use synonyms
internet
, they can even buy products from other countries.
Add an article
the internet
On the other hand
, online shopping has brought some challenges to the community. Sometimes, Linking Words
products
which Correct article usage
the products
people
receive are different from what they had ordered. Use synonyms
This
is prevalent specifically Linking Words
while
ordering a type of cloth. Linking Words
The companies
should manage an abundance of orders, Correct article usage
Companies
therefore
, a lot of mistakes can occur. Linking Words
Last
year, Linking Words
for instance
, I ordered a blue shirt but when I received it, it was red and it was my father's size, as well. Linking Words
Additionally
, online shopping can make a great opportunity for hackers and criminals to rob Linking Words
people
's personal information and abuse them. So, some individuals can lose everything they have because of Use synonyms
lack
of security on the internet.
Correct article usage
a lack
To conclude
, except Linking Words
some
drawbacks that were mentioned, online shopping can play a prominent role in society and save Change preposition
for some
people
a lot of time, money and effort in the future.Use synonyms
Submitted by yasinisback8 on
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your examples and arguments are directly relevant to the question. Adding more specific examples could enrich your essay further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence. Although your essay flows well, using a wider range of connectors could improve the reader's experience.
Task Response
You've effectively outlined both the benefits and challenges of online shopping, which shows a balanced analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, rounding off your argument well.
Task Achievement
You've provided specific examples, such as the personal anecdote about receiving the wrong item, which helps illustrate your point effectively.