Write about shopping. Would you prefer shopping in a store or shopping on the internet (online)? What are the benefits of your choice? What are the possible problems of your choice?

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In the modern era, there are different ways to buy new things. I'd personally rather to shop online because of numerous reasons which I'm going to explain in the rest of
this
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essay. Online shopping can benefit us in disparate aspects of our lives.
Firstly
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, some individuals like me, do not have sufficient time to go to a store and purchase something.
Hence
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, they can buy that thing online in just a few minutes and kill two birds with one stone.
Secondly
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, because of transportation, going to a shop can intensify the environmental concerns and
this
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is something online shopping counteracts.
For example
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, if each person wants to go to a store, there will be a lot of cars on the road but in online shopping, just a delivery guy can take all packages to customers.
Finally
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, online shopping has made everything accessible to
people
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who live in remote areas and with
internet
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the internet
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, they can even buy products from other countries.
On the other hand
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, online shopping has brought some challenges to the community. Sometimes,
products
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the products
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which
people
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receive are different from what they had ordered.
This
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is prevalent specifically
while
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ordering a type of cloth.
The companies
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Companies
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should manage an abundance of orders,
therefore
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, a lot of mistakes can occur.
Last
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year,
for instance
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, I ordered a blue shirt but when I received it, it was red and it was my father's size, as well.
Additionally
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, online shopping can make a great opportunity for hackers and criminals to rob
people
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's personal information and abuse them. So, some individuals can lose everything they have because of
lack
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a lack
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of security on the internet.
To conclude
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, except
some
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for some
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drawbacks that were mentioned, online shopping can play a prominent role in society and save
people
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a lot of time, money and effort in the future.
Submitted by yasinisback8 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your examples and arguments are directly relevant to the question. Adding more specific examples could enrich your essay further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence. Although your essay flows well, using a wider range of connectors could improve the reader's experience.
Task Response
You've effectively outlined both the benefits and challenges of online shopping, which shows a balanced analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, rounding off your argument well.
Task Achievement
You've provided specific examples, such as the personal anecdote about receiving the wrong item, which helps illustrate your point effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Broader selection
  • Physical stores
  • Specialized goods
  • Compare prices
  • Online reviews
  • Exclusive discounts
  • Promotions
  • Risk of fraud
  • Scams
  • Shipping delays
  • Verify the legitimacy
  • In-person transactions
  • Inspect products
  • Purchasing decisions
  • Dissatisfaction
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