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Band 8

When asked to choose between alife without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#alife #work #time #people
It is an axiomatic fact that humans tend to choose to stop their
work
 whenever asked about life with either
work
 or no
work
. From my perspective, I am convinced by
this
 statement. It must be acknowledged that
work
-induced stress is inevitable in the modern workplace where
people
 are often snowed under with the overwhelming amount of paper and have to take on responsibilities. Given
such
 duties, employees are put under huge pressure as they give rise to more serious psychological issues like anxiety or depression which might escalate into mental breakdown if sustained for a long time.
In contrast
, life with no
work
 is much more satisfying because
people
 can enjoy their lives to the fullest without being worried about unemployment and financial adversities.
Consequently
,
people
 can lead a healthier lifestyle when no deadlines are required to finish on time.
Therefore
, it is sensible for
people
 to select the option. Another point is that the majority of
people
work
 assiduously, hoping that they earn a decent income to pay for daily expenses. If they already lead a wealthy lifestyle, there is no reason to continue working hard.
This
 is
not to mention
 that when
people
 need not spend eight hours in the workplace, they can have extra time for their beloved.
This
 can exert positive effects on human relationships as conflicts or bickering are mitigated by better sympathy with others.
To sum up
, for the reasons mentioned above, it stands to reason that
people
 always opt for a life with no
work
.

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task response
While the essay presents strong arguments, it could benefit from further elaboration on some points and more balanced arguments. Consider discussing potential disadvantages or counterarguments to strengthen your task response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is clear and logical, but transitions between some ideas could be smoother. Linking words and phrases can help ensure a more seamless flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear and concise framing of the essay topic.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured, with logical sequencing of ideas and supported main points, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, with good use of examples to support the main argument, making the essay engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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