(VMN)When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a statement that when it comes to two choices, whether working or not working in most of the living
time
, the latter is commonly inclined towards. From the writer’s Use synonyms
prospective
, Correct your spelling
perspective
this
decision can be Linking Words
understanding
, Replace the word
understandable
due to
the desire to Linking Words
having
more leisure Wrong verb form
have
time
to enjoy their hobbies or improve themselves after a hard-working and tiring phase of working Use synonyms
time
.
The primary point is that people who opt for that choice may have suffered from Use synonyms
a
sufficient stress in the workplace. From dealing with an enormous amount of documents and the group’s project to facing Remove the article
apply
with
a variety of problems in the corporations and their daily basis, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted when thinking about the work is inevitable. Owing to Change preposition
apply
this
, human usually wants to Linking Words
halt
Verb problem
quit
the
current jobs, or even quit Change the word
their
it
, to have more Correct pronoun usage
them
time
for releasing stress. Use synonyms
However
, as no working means no living earning, people cannot realize Linking Words
this
“dream”, but just wish for it. Linking Words
This
results in Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
big
amount of answers choosing no work Correct word choice
large
in
the beginning of the essay.
The need to enhance their skills can be considered as another point worth referringChange the preposition
at
.
Spending most of Change preposition
to.
the
life arriving and leaving the office building, the Change the word
their
time
to nurture their knowledge and experience might be inadequate, though it is true to contend that more practical lessons can be learnt from the workplace. Because of Use synonyms
this
reason, more individuals, especially the young and ambitious ones, Linking Words
wants
to quit Correct subject-verb agreement
want
the
Change the word
their
occupation
to freely attend classes to develop plenty of soft and hard skills. Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
This
can be basically observed from the increase of the “gap year” decision, when people at least Linking Words
spends
their free year to continue Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
expand
their vision and significantly improve numerous skills in some particular aspects.
Taking all points into account, Wrong verb form
expanding
as
working gives a strain and a Correct word choice
apply
time
restriction, which prevent individuals from having Use synonyms
time
for easing stress Use synonyms
as well as
developing themselves. Linking Words
This
, Linking Words
therefore
, leads to a majority of Linking Words
community
Correct article usage
the community
gravitates
towards the option of having no work in their most life. Wrong verb form
gravitating
Hence
, the writer approves Linking Words
to
the statement.Change preposition
of
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples that illustrate your points clearly.
task achievement
Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct. For example, ‘understanding’ should be ‘understandable’ and 'human usually wants' should be 'humans usually want'.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure by ensuring a clear connection between sentences and ideas, making the essay more logically organized.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Your understanding of the task is good, and you’ve addressed both aspects of it (leisure time vs. work).
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view with some relevant arguments and reasons to support your stance.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and a conclusion, which adds to the essay’s overall coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.