IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #skills
The line graph illustrates the average quantities of fossil fuels that
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 produced annually over a 19-year period.
Overall
,
producing
Replace the word
the production
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
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 coal dramatically declined,
while
 indicators of natural
gas
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased sharply throughout
a
Correct article usage
the
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 decade.
Also
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fuels met at the same record in 1991. In 1981, manufacturing
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 petroleum began by merely 90 energy
units
,
while
 the amount of production
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 coal and natural
gas
, indicated
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
80 and 39
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
units
 respectively. Over the following ten years,
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of production
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 natural
gas
 gradually rose to just over 50
units
,
whereas
 measures of coal and petroleum dropped with
flactuarion
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
 below 50 and 100
units
accordingly
. In 2000, petroleum overtook
landline
Fix the agreement mistake
landlines
show examples
other
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
 kinds of fuels with 140 energy
inits
Correct your spelling
units
show examples
. Meanwhile,
providing
Replace the word
the provision
show examples
 of natural
gas
also
 rose to approximately 100
units
 in 2000, making nearly a double jump
relatively
Change the word
relative
show examples
 to its initial figure in 1981. Indicators of coal were fallen to 37
units
, which states that
this
 type of fuel was not
popilar
Correct your spelling
popular
 in 2000.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, but it could be improved by incorporating a clearer structure overall. Make sure to include a conclusive paragraph that summarizes the key points at the end.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure and clarity, use more transitional words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. It will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, such as “flactuarion” which should be “fluctuation,” and ensure consistent use of articles and proper noun forms. This will better support the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay presents relevant and specific examples by discussing the trends in fossil fuel production across different types of fuels. This specific detailing adds value to your task response.
task achievement
Good job in introducing the data and summarizing the overall trends in the line graph. This shows you understand the main points and can communicate them effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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