Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in reach countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem . Provide specific reason and examples to support your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The prevalence of being overweight has become a major public issue, particularly in developed nations. In
this
essay, I will delineate specific facts and propose effective strategies to address
this
concern.
To begin
with, one of the key factors to the corpulent crisis is the unhealthy dietary habits of individuals. The popularity of fast-food culture has led to overconsumption of processed food in high fat, which easily exceeds our daily needs.
For example
, around 21% of adolescents in the USA have found oversized
due to
consuming convenience food two or more times per week.
Hence
, the sedentary lifestyle is
also
a significant cause of the rise of obesity. Employees nowadays spend enormous amounts of time in front of screens,
instead
of going for regular physical activities, which may increase the risk of weight gain and other medical conditions.
On the other hand
, there are numerous ways in which governments can combat it effectively.
Firstly
, relevant departments should launch public awareness campaigns to educate the public about the nutritional quality of daily diet.
For instance
, the Health Promotion Board in Singapore has partnered with restaurants to introduce healthier choices and highlight the consequences of eating high-calorie food.
Moreover
, educational programs can be introduced to improve the well-being of children. Countries like Australia and France have allocated more resources in the communities to promote sports classes and encourage more exercise for families. In conclusion,
while
the obesity epidemic remains a pressing issue, by implementing various partnership programs and educational campaigns, I believe it can be towards recovery in the foreseeable future.
Submitted by leephilip933 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay provides specific examples and details, it sometimes lacks depth in exploring alternative viewpoints or additional solutions. Adding a few more perspectives could enrich the analysis.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence further, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Minor transitions between some ideas can be made more explicit.
task achievement
The essay provides clear, relevant examples that support the main points effectively, which is an important aspect of the task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear roadmap of the essay's argument and summarizing it effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • lean proteins
  • whole grains
  • recreational facilities
  • community fitness programs
  • campaigns
  • marketing
  • high-calorie foods
  • sugary drinks
  • health education programs
  • nutritional counseling
  • medical interventions
  • food deserts
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian-friendly streets
What to do next:
Look at other essays: