IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that robots are very important for human’s future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effect on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Few individuals believe that for the future of human beings
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,
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it is crucial to invent
robots
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while
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 others think that
robots
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 are threatening creations for societies.In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view,
as well as
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 from my regard
robots
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 have negative effects on the human species. On the one hand, people think that in a growing world,
technology
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 should be promoted and the best invention of modern
technology
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 is a robot.In fact, robot is the best invention of modern
technology
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 because, they can be used in many fields,not only in medicine,
such
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 as, in middle economic countries like Rwanda assign
robots
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 to a doctor in their hospitals, but
also
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 in daily home activities.
For example
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, it can be seen that many restaurants launched
robots
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 for consumer services.
robots
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 save time and money
hence
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 they can do tasks more efficiently and consistently than humans.
Therefore
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 inventing
robots
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 is the best achievement in today's world.
In contrast
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, the opponents of robot
technology
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 believe that
robots
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 will destroy societies and humans because they work on commands
as well as
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,
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apply
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 they are not natural creatures as they lack critical thinking and problem-solving.
Secondly
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,
robots
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 have replaced job opportunities and job requirements
while
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 in the workplace they can replace employees in many repetitive and hazardous tasks
for instance
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, in manufacturing they perform tasks like packing, but they can not replace all jobs that require emotional intelligence and decision making.
To sum up
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, the invention of
robots
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 has both uses and demises but sometimes it can lead to devastating effects like Jon replacement, and
technology
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 dependence risk.

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task achievement
Try to clarify your stance about robots, and elaborate more on why you think robots have negative effects. Ensure that your opinion is consistently supported across the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on your flow by using more cohesive devices (e.g., linking words) to connect your ideas smoothly, enhancing the essay’s overall readability.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations to make your points more compelling and specific. This will improve clarity and provide stronger evidence for your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints evenly, which demonstrates a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response structure.
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