IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensave the survival of local languages and if so, how?

#english #school #languages #risk #ensave
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Studying
English
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 is sometimes considered more valuable than studying native
languages
Use synonyms
. There is a possibility these
languages
Use synonyms
 will disappear if not taught. Meanwhile, I think the
English
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 still needs to be learned by everyone because it is used in some countries in the world.
However
Linking Words
, we should
also
Linking Words
 preserve the local
languages
Use synonyms
 by separating the classrooms based on the study plan of the
students
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
English
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 is an international
language
Use synonyms
 which is used mostly in Europe and North America.
Hence
Linking Words
, if the
students
Use synonyms
 are willing to continue their education in those nations, they will need to learn
English
Use synonyms
 as it is the entry requirement for joining their universities.
For example
Linking Words
, Harvard University has a minimum
English
Use synonyms
score
Use synonyms
 on the IELTS platform of 7.0.
This
Linking Words
score
Use synonyms
 is very hard to get because the maximum
score
Use synonyms
 for IELTS is 9.0, which is only
2-point
Correct article usage
a 2-point
show examples
 difference.
Secondly
Linking Words
, native
languages
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 be saved from extinction. Since the
school
Use synonyms
 can not completely force the
students
Use synonyms
 to use the native
languages
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
, they can
instead
Linking Words
 take a test with a
score
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, BPK Penabur, a
school
Use synonyms
 in my city, determined Wednesday and Friday as the native
language
Use synonyms
 days. The
students
Use synonyms
 have to speak their own local
language
Use synonyms
 and it will influence their total final
score
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, these both
languages
Use synonyms
 are very important for
students
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
English
Use synonyms
 is essential for studying abroad , especially in Europe and America, the local
languages
Use synonyms
 are a culture that needs to be saved. I suggest more schools will be aware of
this
Linking Words
 problem and consider how to treat both subjects wisely in
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dorima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay provides a good response to the task, addressing both the importance of learning English and the need to preserve local languages. However, try to expand more on how exactly local languages can be preserved in various contexts, not just in schools.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words to connect your ideas. This will make the essay flow more smoothly and show a stronger grasp of cohesive devices.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively encapsulate your stance on the issue.
task response
You provide relevant examples, such as the language policy of BPK Penabur School, which strengthen your points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: