In today’s world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In modern
society
, a
lot
of men and women to look younger spend a
lot
of
money
on their appearance.
This
essay will suggest the reasons behind
people
paying hefty prices for their physical appearances and how
this
downward trend impacts our
society
and
people
. Everyone appreciates younger-looking
skin
and slim bodies as they look appealing to the eyes. Across the world, the current norm of
society
now is to look younger and have a slim body even though
initially
this
trend was in glamorous industries like movies and modelling only. Nowadays,
people
are forced by societal pressure and they tend to spend their savings on Gym memberships and Diet plans to maintain a body.
For example
, As per the current survey in the United States, a
lot
of the younger generation have health club memberships because they want to look good.
Furthermore
, a certain type of employment requires
people
to have fresh and young-looking
skin
to stay in jobs.
For instance
, a
lot
of Hollywood movie stars pay huge prices to maintain their
skin
by doing cosmetic surgeries on their
skin
because if they look beautiful, their demand will be greater.
Therefore
,
people
tend to spend huge
money
on their external appearance. In my opinion, spending huge
money
on physical appearances has far more negative implications for
society
.
First,
many younger generations under societal pressure are now skipping meals in their pursuit of losing extra body weight and
this
is causing Bulimia like diseases in young girls.
Second,
many normal
people
who do not have enough
money
to spend on cosmetic surgeries, diet plans or gym memberships are suffering from low self-esteem.
For instance
, In the USA, many
people
are suffering from depression because they are overweight or do not have a beautiful smile and flawless
skin
.
Hence
, paying hefty costs on one's appearance is a downward trend and
people
must learn to accept themselves as they are and must be educated.
To conclude
, there are deep consequences on one's emotional health when
people
tend to spend their savings on looking good rather
people
should spend their
money
on being healthy and self-love should be preached in
society
.
Submitted by ruchix2006 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear thesis statement that addresses the essay prompt directly. While your introduction touches upon the main ideas, refining it to clearly state your stance towards the topic would make your position more evident from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your main body paragraphs by linking them more explicitly to the thesis introduced in your essay. This helps in maintaining a focused and structured argument throughout your essay.
task achievement
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
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While you have provided examples to support your points, incorporating more specific, real-life instances or statistical data where possible would enrich your argumentation and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, ensure to succinctly summarize the key points of your argument in relation to the essay prompt, reaffirming your stance in a convincing manner.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage to avoid minor grammatical errors. Additionally, proofreading your essay for typographical errors will contribute to a more polished and professional presentation.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural and social pressure
  • Youth and beauty glorification
  • Technological advancements
  • Anti-aging treatments
  • Skincare
  • Cosmetic procedures
  • Self-esteem and confidence
  • Self-improvement
  • Self-care
  • Unrealistic beauty standards
  • Superficiality
  • Financial strain
  • Consumption and dissatisfaction
  • Psychological effects
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Body dysmorphobia
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