Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In
this
scientific world, the
vast number of patients tend to rely on Correct article usage
a
alternative
medicine
rather than diagnosed
by common Add a missing verb
being diagnosed
doctors
. In my opinion, this
tendency could make the patient’s disease worsen due to
Correct article usage
a varity
varity
of side effects.
Correct your spelling
variety
Firstly
, the
modern Correct article usage
apply
medicine
is an
Correct article usage
apply
evidenced-based
, Correct your spelling
evidence-based
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
alternative
one is an
anectodal-based. The prior is heavily supported by scientific methodology, Correct article usage
apply
in other words
, new treatments must be proven by tough experiments by experts and professors.
Take covid-19 vaccine as an example, which was scientificaly
tested by various advanced Correct your spelling
scientifically
commites
to prove its efficacy. Correct your spelling
scientists
However
, traditional remedies generally have not tested
, Add a missing verb
been tested
also
they used
Add a missing verb
are used
due to
anectodes and religious aspects by individuals. Additionally
, it has been proven that remedies that used
by a traditional Add a missing verb
are used
medicine
expert have a
massive and Correct article usage
apply
ambigues
side effects.
Correct your spelling
ambiguous
Secondly
, in every corner of a city common doctors
are available, while
alternative
medicine
doctors
are rarely found in a city. Nowadays, as number
of students who tend to learn Change the article
the number
medicine
in universities have been increased, the number of institues
and hospitals have been drastically developed. Correct your spelling
institutes
Altough
, learning Correct your spelling
Although
alternative
medicine
in universities or academical institiues
are going toCorrect your spelling
institutes
a
thing of the past issue. Add a missing verb
be a
Therefore
, the availability of prior experts are
more than Change the verb form
is
latter
one.
Correct article usage
the latter
To conclude
, people who are visited by usual doctors
have a greather
chance to be cured than individuals who are trying Correct your spelling
greater
alternative
medicine
. However
, patients due to
their natural habitants
are relying heavily on Correct your spelling
habitats
latter
method, which is not Add an article
the latter
precise
treatment.Correct article usage
a precise
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coherence cohesion
Work on your essay’s logical structure by organizing your thoughts clearly in each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and that your ideas flow logically. A well-structured essay can make your arguments more persuasive and easier to follow.
task achievement
Strengthen your points by including more detailed and relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the side effects of traditional medicine, mention specific cases to support your argument. Concrete examples can make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should summarize the main points discussed in the essay and reinforce your main argument. Make sure it leaves a clear, final impression. A strong conclusion can significantly improve the overall impact of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic directly and presents a clear position on the issue. This shows that you understand the prompt and can develop a relevant response.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a structured introduction and conclusion. This helps frame your essay and provides closure to your arguments.
task achievement
You exhibit a good attempt at using specific terminology related to modern medicine and alternative treatments, which showcases your knowledge of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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