Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In
this
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scientific world,
the
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a
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vast number of patients tend to rely on
alternative
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medicine
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rather than
diagnosed
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being diagnosed
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by common
doctors
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. In my opinion,
this
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tendency could make the patient’s disease worsen
due to
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a varity
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varity
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variety
of side effects.
Firstly
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,
the
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apply
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modern
medicine
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is
an
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apply
show examples
evidenced-based
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evidence-based
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,
while
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the
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apply
show examples
alternative
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one is
an
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apply
show examples
anectodal-based. The prior is heavily supported by scientific methodology,
in other words
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, new treatments must be proven by tough experiments by experts and professors. Take covid-19 vaccine as an example, which was
scientificaly
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scientifically
tested by various advanced
commites
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scientists
to prove its efficacy.
However
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, traditional remedies generally have not
tested
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been tested
show examples
,
also
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they
used
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are used
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due to
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anectodes and religious aspects by individuals.
Additionally
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, it has been proven that remedies that
used
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are used
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by a traditional
medicine
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expert have
a
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apply
show examples
massive and
ambigues
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ambiguous
side effects.
Secondly
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, in every corner of a city common
doctors
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are available,
while
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alternative
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medicine
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doctors
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are rarely found in a city. Nowadays, as
number
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the number
show examples
of students who tend to learn
medicine
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in universities have been increased, the number of
institues
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institutes
and hospitals have been drastically developed.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
, learning
alternative
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medicine
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in universities or academical
institiues
Correct your spelling
institutes
are going to
a
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be a
show examples
thing of the past issue.
Therefore
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, the availability of prior experts
are
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is
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more than
latter
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the latter
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one.
To conclude
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, people who are visited by usual
doctors
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have a
greather
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greater
chance to be cured than individuals who are trying
alternative
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medicine
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.
However
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, patients
due to
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their natural
habitants
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habitats
show examples
are relying heavily on
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
method, which is not
precise
Correct article usage
a precise
show examples
treatment.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

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coherence cohesion
Work on your essay’s logical structure by organizing your thoughts clearly in each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and that your ideas flow logically. A well-structured essay can make your arguments more persuasive and easier to follow.
task achievement
Strengthen your points by including more detailed and relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the side effects of traditional medicine, mention specific cases to support your argument. Concrete examples can make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should summarize the main points discussed in the essay and reinforce your main argument. Make sure it leaves a clear, final impression. A strong conclusion can significantly improve the overall impact of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic directly and presents a clear position on the issue. This shows that you understand the prompt and can develop a relevant response.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a structured introduction and conclusion. This helps frame your essay and provides closure to your arguments.
task achievement
You exhibit a good attempt at using specific terminology related to modern medicine and alternative treatments, which showcases your knowledge of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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