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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #skills
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In
this
 present world usage of
technology
 is constantly on the rise.Even used for communication on digital
devices
 , especially in young communities.
thus
,some
people
 think it has negative
effects
 on developing young
people
's reading and writing
skills
.It is disagreed
technology
 will bring negative
effects
 on young
people
.Analysing the benefits of educational apps and social media in digital
devices
,
as well as
 the power of the
technology
 will prove
this
.
Firstly
,the power of social media allows us to connect the
people
 from around the world.
Although
 most of the time we communicate with
people
 on social media we talk in informal ways to communicate
such
 as slang, it is
undeniable
Replace the word
undeniably
show examples
Correct your spelling
increase
increasi
Correct your spelling
increasing
 ng young
community
 to write a word to connect with society.
Therefore
,it has a positive effect on the young
community
 developing their writing
skills
.
Secondly
,the educational app motivates the young
community
 to read e-books.Despite increasing young
people
's reading
skills
,
on the other hand
,it is a strong motivation for young
people
 since a lot of educational apps are created by a professional education expert, in order to attract
people
 to constantly read their content.
As a consequence
,it is proven educational apps can easily motivate the
community
 to read. To summarise,if we do not allow the young
community
 to use digital
devices
 to communicate with society,it is hard to imagine how many disarranges will affect the young
community
.On top of analysing all the factors of the positive
effects
 of
technology
 improve young
people
's reading and writing
skills
.So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree digital
devices
 have negative
effects
 on young
people
's
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
skills
Submitted by kelvin03133 on

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Grammar and Punctuation
Ensure a thorough review of grammar and punctuation throughout the essay. This will help make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
Transition Words and Phrases
Improve the logical progression of ideas by using transition words and phrases more effectively. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.
Supporting Details and Examples
Strengthen your arguments by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This will make your points more compelling and demonstrate a deeper level of analysis.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
Balanced Argument
You have made a logical attempt to address both aspects of the argument—reading and writing skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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