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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language, because some students don’t have a natural ability for languages. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#schools #force #children #language #students #don’t #ability #languages
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Foreign
language
 is one of the important skills in children's education. Even though a few offspring do not have a natural ability to learn a new
language
, toddlers are forced into learning a foreign
language
 in schools. I completely agree with the idea that schools should not force children to learn foreign languages. There are more benefits if child learn to speak different sounds other than their native sound. The most obvious benefit is that
language
 makes them a multitalented person in many ways. At the same time, it gives them an opportunity to expose a variety of foreign books which have some beneficial things that are practised by different cultures. It
also
 opens a gate to learning about the culture of other countries people which teaches them from greetings to thank you.
Besides
 that, learning a foreign voice will
also
 be helpful in their professional life and
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 them to obtain overseas employment.
For instance
, if an Indian student learns English at the school level, he will be fluent in his accent, and foreign companies will be impressed and offer him a job with a
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 salary
according to
 his knowledge. The
last
 point in favour is if we are able to speak different sounds he or she can make more friends which will help them in their future
To sum up
, my opinion is, that all the education centres should be able to understand children's talents and proceed with the learning of foreign languages that will make a person stand out from the crowd.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
You should develop your points more thoroughly with clear and specific examples to back up your arguments. This will help to strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Pay closer attention to grammar and word choice. For instance, 'offspring' and 'toddlers' are not the best choices for describing school children. Instead, use 'students' or 'pupils'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that all parts of the paragraph support this idea. This would help improve the coherence and logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is good for task response and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, helping to reinforce your main points.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to support your arguments with logical reasoning, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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