In some areas of the US, a “curfew” is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
In some parts of the
US
Add a comma
US,
adolescent
are not permitted to go out after a certain time unless they are with a Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
grown up
. I totally agree with Add a hyphen
grown-up
this
because it is dangerous for young people to be out late at night
and they are irresponsible when it comes to making decisions
.
Children should remain indoors at night
because it is not safe. This
age
group is suffering more due to
been
more vulnerable than other Wrong verb form
being
age
groups. While
an adolescent is outside and alone, he will be more vulnerable and easily targeted by a criminal compare
with an adolescent who is safe inside the house. Wrong verb form
compared
For example
, London has seen an increase in the numbers
of stabbing victims aged between 13 to 19 years old and the majority of Fix the agreement mistake
number
this
Correct determiner usage
these
age related
crimes are happening during the late hours of the Add a hyphen
age-related
night
.
Adolescents, as young people, with little experience often will end up making irresponsible decisions
. At this
age
their body will go through important hormonal changes,which will make them rush Add a comma
age,
while
making decisions
. Very often they will be unaware of the consequences their actions will have on them and others and make mistakes. That's why they should be helped by adults during this
process.For example
, Ireland increased the number of police patrols at the weekend in order to deal with drunk teenagers who thought it was fine to get drunk and cause trouble in the streets, late at night
.
In conclusion, I believe adolescents should not be allowed to go out in the late hours of the hight
because they will not be able to protect themselves from danger. The house is a safe place for them to be and it will prevent them from making irresponsible Correct your spelling
night
decisions
.Submitted by aizered097 on
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task achievement
Be consistent with the use of singular and plural forms, and ensure subject-verb agreement throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and avoid minor grammatical errors for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure with an introduction and conclusion present.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clear and comprehensive, showing a strong grasp of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to provide relevant examples to support your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite