The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today.Disccus the main causes.What solutions could be used to tackle this situation.

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People from small towns often move to bigger
cities
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to find a fortune. It is argued that it can be a new trouble for the
cities
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that they migrated to, and the main reason behind that, is they want to get a better
life
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by living in metropolitan
cities
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.
Firstly
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, by moving to a metropolitan
city
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, society
expect
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expects
show examples
to get a better
life
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, which means they want a better financial income and infrastructure. Mostly,
big
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
city
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minimum salary will be higher than the small
cities
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.
For example
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, in my country, Indonesia,
small
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
town average minimum allowance is around $150 - $200,
on the other hand
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, in bigger
cities
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such
Linking Words
as Jakarta, the capital of Indonesia, the minimum allowance is around $300-400.
Secondly
Linking Words
, with the hope of getting a better
life
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, the folks
also
Linking Words
want to get advanced infrastructure that can provide or make their
life
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easier,
such
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as convenient public transport and better healthcare services.
For instance
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, many small
cities
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in Indonesia do not have MRI machines, if the patient needs to do MRI, they must go to a bigger
city
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or even to Jakarta. To escalate
this
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kind of problem,
government
Add an article
the government
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must take action,
such
Linking Words
as prioritizing the
cities
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that got left behind in terms of development, by building the proper infrastructures and advertising each
city
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's tourist attractions.
For example
Linking Words
, authorities can focus on constructing small
towns
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towns'
town's
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roads with asphalt, so logistics from another town can easily arrive there and even tourists want to visit the special places of the town, it can grow the economy of the
city
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.
To conclude
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, the main cause people want to migrate to bigger
cities
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is because they want to get a better
life
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, but if most of the people from smaller towns move to a bigger
city
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, it can be a problem for the
city
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itself. So, governments must take action to prevent bigger migration by prioritizing smaller
cities
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' infrastructure and advertising each
city
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's tourist
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
.
Submitted by sumitros97 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Use linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments, for example, 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition.'
task achievement
While your essay addresses the task fairly well, you should strive to provide a more detailed analysis of the solutions to the problems caused by migration. Expand on the ideas and provide more varied examples to support your suggestions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the comparison of minimum salaries in Jakarta and smaller towns in Indonesia. This strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • rural-urban migration
  • overpopulation
  • infrastructure
  • economic disparities
  • healthcare facilities
  • employment opportunities
  • standard of living
  • transportation networks
  • educational institutions
  • career advancement
  • amenities
  • migration
  • urban areas
  • rural areas
  • living conditions
  • job market
  • social services
  • entertainment facilities
  • economic divide
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