The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today.Disccus the main causes.What solutions could be used to tackle this situation.
People from small towns often move to bigger
cities
to find a fortune. It is argued that it can be a new trouble for the cities
that they migrated to, and the main reason behind that, is they want to get a better life
by living in metropolitan cities
.
Firstly
, by moving to a metropolitan city
, society expect
to get a better Change the verb form
expects
life
, which means they want a better financial income and infrastructure. Mostly, big
Correct word choice
apply
city
minimum salary will be higher than the small cities
. For example
, in my country, Indonesia, small
town average minimum allowance is around $150 - $200, Correct word choice
apply
on the other hand
, in bigger cities
such
as Jakarta, the capital of Indonesia, the minimum allowance is around $300-400.
Secondly
, with the hope of getting a better life
, the folks also
want to get advanced infrastructure that can provide or make their life
easier, such
as convenient public transport and better healthcare services. For instance
, many small cities
in Indonesia do not have MRI machines, if the patient needs to do MRI, they must go to a bigger city
or even to Jakarta.
To escalate this
kind of problem, government
must take action, Add an article
the government
such
as prioritizing the cities
that got left behind in terms of development, by building the proper infrastructures and advertising each city
's tourist attractions. For example
, authorities can focus on constructing small towns
roads with asphalt, so logistics from another town can easily arrive there and even tourists want to visit the special places of the town, it can grow the economy of the Change noun form
towns'
town's
city
.
To conclude
, the main cause people want to migrate to bigger cities
is because they want to get a better life
, but if most of the people from smaller towns move to a bigger city
, it can be a problem for the city
itself. So, governments must take action to prevent bigger migration by prioritizing smaller cities
' infrastructure and advertising each city
's tourist attraction
.Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
Submitted by sumitros97 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Use linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments, for example, 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition.'
task achievement
While your essay addresses the task fairly well, you should strive to provide a more detailed analysis of the solutions to the problems caused by migration. Expand on the ideas and provide more varied examples to support your suggestions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the comparison of minimum salaries in Jakarta and smaller towns in Indonesia. This strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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