IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many studies show that poor people are more likely to be involved in petty and serious crimes than people who come from higher-income groups. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It can be seen in many research articles that lower-income generators are more likely to engage in illegal
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 than those who belong to wealthy backgrounds. I totally agree with the given statement and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will shed light on the appropriate reasons as well in
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 discussion.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the core reason is the poor financial condition of
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 pupils.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 compulsion leads to crime when one cannot afford necessities for their family like food, house, and, clothes, it encourages them to snatch those stuff wrongly.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the news article in the Times of India, says that recently a maid in Bombay City had stolen, a luxury watch from her owner to pay her daughter’s school fees. Another reason can be inequality in the society. By that, it means, not equal rights in institutions like educational institutes and jobs. There are several schools, which only provide admissions to students who come from rich families.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, poor individual individuals find
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 unfair to them and commit crimes and become thieves to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 all the basic requirements of their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families

It seems that family may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the series on Netflix called "Scam 2003" is truly based on
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 concept that how poor people do illegal
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to become rich and leave the Porsche lifestyle, which is based on true events. In conclusion, I must say that money is important to survive, but try to get it by doing
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that are against the law. Can send someone behind
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
bars.

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task achievement
While your essay has clear and comprehensive main ideas, adding more specific examples and statistical data would strengthen your arguments. Consider citing more concrete studies or reports to back up your claims.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively presents a logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. However, be mindful of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance readability. For instance, you could revise 'the news article in the Times of India, says that recently' to 'a recent news article in the Times of India states that'.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully provided clear main points for your arguments and organized them into coherent paragraphs, contributing to a logical flow in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which help frame your discussion effectively.
task achievement
The examples you provided, like the maid in Bombay City and the Netflix series 'Scam 2003', illustrate your points well and contribute to a well-rounded argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic stress
  • quality education
  • criminal behavior
  • unemployment
  • social environment
  • peer pressure
  • impoverished areas
  • mental health resources
  • criminal tendencies
  • legal means
  • charged
  • convicted
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