The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
The line graph illustrates the
consumption
of free kinds of meat (Chichen
,Correct your spelling
chicken
Beef
,Lamb) and fish per person per week in
1979 to 2004.Change preposition
from
Unites
are measured in grams.
Correct your spelling
Units
Overall
,the consumption
of fish had the lowest position in first
year and Change the article
the first
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
this
meaning Change preposition
for all
all
period, Correct determiner usage
the
whereas
the consumption
of beef
was 230 approximately in 1979 and had oscillate
tendency and reached Correct article usage
an oscillate
average
Correct article usage
an average
figure
in
130 Change preposition
of
gram
in 2004.Fix the agreement mistake
grams
At
the same Change preposition
During
period
the Add a comma
period,
chicken
was bit
less Correct article usage
a bit
then
150 Replace the word
than
gram
but gradually Fix the agreement mistake
grams
grove
and Correct your spelling
grew
became
the highest position of 250 Verb problem
reached
gram
in the final year.
with regards the Fix the agreement mistake
grams
consumption
of beef
was 230 gram
and had fluctuated movement until 1989 Fix the agreement mistake
grams
where
was replaced by Correct word choice
when
chicken
, and then
started to dramatically decrease until 2004 where
reached Correct word choice
when
bit
more Correct article usage
a bit
then
120 Replace the word
than
gram
. Fix the agreement mistake
grams
Likewise
chicken
had Correct article usage
a constant
constant
ceiling trend until 1989 Correct article usage
a constant
Correct word choice
when
where
reached 200 Correct word choice
when
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
gram
per week Fix the agreement mistake
grams
and
overcome the meaning of Correct word choice
apply
beef
and became the most popular Correct your spelling
meat
meet
in 2004.
Correct your spelling
meat
On the other
hand
the Add a comma
hand,
consumption
of fish was around 60 gram
in 1979.Fix the agreement mistake
grams
This
figure
had constant
trend with Correct article usage
a constant
slight
oscillation around 50 Correct article usage
a slight
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
Change preposition
in all
all
period until 1998 and minimally Correct determiner usage
the
plummet
Wrong verb form
plummeted
bit
less Correct article usage
a bit
then
50 Replace the word
than
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
finally
stayed the least popular given item.The lamb's Correct word choice
and finally
figure
had
exactly 150 Verb problem
was
gram
in the first year Fix the agreement mistake
grams
after
this
figure
dropped and became less Change preposition
than then
then
Correct your spelling
the
consumption
of chicken
in 1980 after slightly fluctuated
and eventually Wrong verb form
fluctuating
dropped
to 50 Wrong verb form
dropping
gram
in 2004.Fix the agreement mistake
grams
Submitted by s_syedy on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, beef, figure, gram, chicken with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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