Parents often give children everything they ask for and let them do what they like. Is it good for children what are the consequences when they grow up

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary era, late childbirth is always considered a perennial predicament.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when any parents bear a child, they will tend to indulge their own offspring excessively. The writer of
this
Linking Words
essay will indicate some demerits of
this
Linking Words
child-rearing practice is the deteriorating tendency before concluding it may have a myriad of long-term repercussions. First and foremost, fathers and mothers may deliberately teach their children to be overly reliant by fulfilling all of the demands. In the same vein, youngsters who are granted a host of requests typically form a habit of pestering and relying on others for everything. Actually,
this
Linking Words
phenomenon will beget the lack of exertion which precludes academic performance from being more impeccable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the offspring will definitely not be capable of laying the foundation for the independence trait and self-management skills in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, most people who were provided with tremendous allowances at a young age are usually inept at having a tendency to budget or manage their own property.
This
Linking Words
is another compelling dilemma that individual liberty is now so palpable that having an adverse bearing on some facets of children. In fact, human personalities are shaped at an early age;
however
Linking Words
, if it had not been for close supervision, teenagers may be vulnerable to be negative and adopt more detrimental habits. Take the childish Vietnamese components as a prime exemplification who use profanities from the minor stage of life because they are permitted to play video games at the internet cafes where cursing is the norm.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
type of behaviour can be a precursor to rebellious adolescence and troubled adulthood.
This
Linking Words
is a testament to how unsupervised childhood renders the consequences in a mature life. In conclusion, the overindulgence practice may exacerbate severely to personal development,
thus
Linking Words
I opine that
this
Linking Words
habit should be rejected to guarantee a wholesome lifestyle for children without excessive protection
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the potential problems and consequences of overindulgent parenting. However, it could benefit from more depth and specificity in examples.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear, but there are moments where the language becomes convoluted, affecting the clarity. Simplifying sentence structures and being more concise can improve comprehensibility.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, a few more transition phrases could improve the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay covers the main points well but could use more specific examples to support the arguments better.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly summarize the main points.
task achievement
Good use of vocabulary, showcasing an adequate range of language skills.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
Look at other essays: