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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that experiences a child has before starting schools have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experience as teenagers, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #experiences #child #schools #influence #future #life #teenagers #school
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The significance of
experiences
 has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
 aspect, some opine that
experiences
 a child has before starting
school
 have the most implications on their
future
 life, but others hold the view that
experiences
 as teenagers, especially at
school
, are more influential.
This
 essay will explore both views and
then
 my opinion will be suggested. It is often pointed out that teenagers'
school
experiences
 are more influential to their
future
 life rather than
children
's. Proponents of
this
 argument suggest that adolescents are more likely to remember specific occasions.
This
 is because,
while
 growing up, they are equipped with sufficient memory in their brains when they are educated in
school
 studies and activities. What is more, they have the ability to distinguish academic preferences from non-preferences.
This
,
therefore
, results in a better choice for their
future
 studies and profession.
Nevertheless
, some opponents insist that childhood
experiences
 have more effects on their
future
 lives.
Although
 the short-lasting of
children
's memories cannot be ignored,
children
 experience advantages. A pertinent example of
this
 is that they have opportunities to spend sufficient time with their families compared to the youth.
This
 obviously leads parents and
children
 to acquire valuable memories from memorable activities and
this
 in turn brings about
children
's physical and mental growth. To recapitulate, I believe that adolescents'
school
experiences
 are more influential to their
future
 lives because the argument suggests that adolescents are more likely to remember specific occasions and are equipped with sufficient memory in their brains.
Thus
, each adult should strive to give a wide range of
experiences
 and opportunities for the youth and
then
 teenagers will make a good result from their studies and career choices.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each argument is clearly distinguished. Adding more signposting words such as 'firstly' or 'secondly' can help guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement score, include a few more specific examples or statistics to back up your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure the conclusion reinforces the essay's main arguments and summarises both sides before giving your opinion to make it more comprehensive.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of both viewpoints and includes a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response to the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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