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Band 4.5

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

#people #school #life #case
People can experience failure in academic areas, but in many cases, the individual tends to succeed in real
life
. The most important thing for a
person
 to be successful, I think
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is connected to the mindset of the individual. People have academic failure for numerous reasons and causes. The most likely being laziness. Unproductivity can hold back
on
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apply
show examples
a
person
's
success
 in a school environment
for
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apply
show examples
when the
person
 gradually becomes less interested and determined
in completing
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to complete
show examples
 any of the subjects given by the curriculum. The secret
for
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to
show examples
 the
success
 of a
person
 regardless of their
below average
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below-average
show examples
 academic achievement is
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills. If an individual is able to find the solution to varying problems regardless of their situation, it greatly
enchances
Correct your spelling
enhances
 the probability of their
success
 in real or adult
life
 where survival and wits matter immensely. Even though there are many methods and factors that encourage a
person
's
success
 in
life
, the most important thing to do so, In my opinion, is wisdom. Problems arriving
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 different times can give a
person
 information and experience about what is the right thing to do and what is not in a specific situation,
thus
 the individual remembers and considers the action to be beneficial at that time and place and has better
success
 compared to those who haven't had
such
 a problem.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 all that's been stated so far, academic achievement, in some cases, doesn't contribute to the
success
 of
life
 for everyone.
Instead
, experience and cleverness can help with
success
 and finding solutions better than any school activity.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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task achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that you provide specific examples to support your main ideas. This will make your argument more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on enhancing the logical structure of your essay. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next, and the ideas should be systematically developed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps in providing a sense of closure and unity to your writing.
task achievement
You address the prompt effectively by covering why some people succeed despite academic failure and what is important for success in life. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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