Some people say that all people should stay in full time education until they are at least 18 years old.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years

The majority of people often say that teenagers should focus full-time on education until they reach the age of 18.From my point of view,I totally agree with

this

statement and I will outline the reason why in the following essay. It must be understood that students should stay in full-time learning until they are at least 18 years old.First of all,

this

will help teenagers expand their opportunities with a graduation degree in high school.The reason is that citizens with graduation degrees have great chances to work in a company which have high standards compared to those who drop out of college.

For example

,there are two people who apply their application for an interview, one has the qualifications to pass the interview and the other does not finish their process of studying until they 18.

As a result

,there are many differences between the position in career and salary between each other.

Nevertheless

,nations who study until 18 can be more beneficial than others.They can gain more knowledge about the major

as well as

have soft skills to find the answer to complex problems.

This

due to

their exposure to many situations and gaining more horizons when experiencing various majors.

This

is true in numerous of company,they are interested in folk who can solve the problem with clever solutions.

Therefore

,people can win the job and they are able to receive a great assessment from the examiner. In conclusion,I totally agree with

this

point

due to

the increased probability of change in the job and getting high

assessment

Fix the agreement mistake

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Tue Jun 04 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion, but the introduction could be more engaging. Try to formulate a thesis statement that clearly outlines the points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical errors and typos, such as 'nations' instead of 'students.' Make sure to proofread your essay to eliminate such mistakes.

task achievement

The essay showcases relevant examples, but they could be more specific. Try to provide examples with more detail and real-world references.

coherence cohesion

There are occasional awkward phrasings and unclear sentences. Strive for clarity and ensure that every sentence contributes to your argument's coherence.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is clear, with a good flow from one point to the next.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively sums up the main points of the essay, reinforcing the writer’s opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people say that all people should stay in full time education until they are at least 18 years old.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rathan than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries traditional customs are being lost. Why do you think this is? What can parents and schools do to keep traditional customs alive?

Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.