IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research, business and academic word. Others believe that some information is too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #science #research #business #word
It is believed
that is
 an excellent idea to
share
 knowledge and discover things,
such
 as science and business
as well as
 the academic world. These days, many people and companies are contributing to
data
 and
information
, even selling their knowledge. The majority of people agree with
this
 viewpoint and others wrestle with it. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both opinions and give my viewpoint. On the one hand, believing that it is a worthy action can be so beneficial, because the standard of life will be increased from all walks of life. In fact, people can be useful to each other provided that they don’t bear in mind themselves only.
For example
, if companies in different parts of fields
such
 as business and science
also
 the academic world
share
data
 as far as they can, they will grow briskly together.
On the other hand
, many believe that it is better to be reserved in sharing
information
due to
 having rivals.
In other words
, some
data
 and
information
 are too worthy to
share
, in fact, scientists and business companies
also
 academic worlds have some opponents and in
this
 case, they may be bankrupt or fall behind, so they prefer to preserve their vital
data
. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
 essay, you need to weigh up both points of view. But eventually, it seems to me that it is better to
share
 your
information
 fairly so that your comfort zone is not compromised,
otherwise
 your profits may be compromised.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure that your examples are more specific and directly related to the topic. For instance, mention a specific instance where sharing information led to significant scientific advancement or business growth.
logical structure
Work on improving coherence by using more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases. This will help your essay to flow more smoothly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to elaborate more on each main point to ensure that your ideas are fully developed and clear. This will enhance the comprehensiveness of your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
complete response
You've done well in presenting both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a discussion essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Open access
  • Innovation
  • Collaboration
  • Proprietary information
  • Competitive advantage
  • Trade secrets
  • Transparency
  • Ethical risks
  • Plagiarism
  • Attribution
  • Security risks
  • Global learning
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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