IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

THE PIE CHARTS SHOW THE REASONS FOR IMMIGRANTS TO A EUROPEAN COUNTRY IN 2009 AND REASOSNS FOR IMIMIGRANTS FROM A EUROPEAN COUNTRY IN 2009

THE PIE CHARTS SHOW THE REASONS FOR IMMIGRANTS TO A EUROPEAN COUNTRY IN 2009 AND REASOSNS FOR IMIMIGRANTS FROM A EUROPEAN COUNTRY IN 2009
#show #immigrants #european #country #reasosns #imimigrants
The given pie charts demonstrate the information of reasons
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
immigrates
Wrong verb form
immigrated
show examples
 from
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
 and
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
 to it in 2009. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
, it can be seen that immigrants from
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
most
Rephrase
mostly accompanied
show examples
 by accompany/family and the
rarely
Change the adverb
rare
show examples
reason
 was for no
reason
.
Additionally
, in the
remaining
Add a comma
remaining,
show examples
 the vast
reason
 was
definite
Add an article
the definite
a definite
show examples
 job and lowest for no
reason
. Looking at the figures of immigrants to
region
Add an article
the region
show examples
, the motive was family/accompany account for 25%. Next to that was
definite
Add an article
a definite
the definite
show examples
 job for 23%. Study and other reasons had a similar number at 15% and the left with no
reason
 at 7% Turning to the remaining chart, there was a big pie accounted for 38%. Other reasons had
an
Change the article
a
show examples
dverage
Correct your spelling
average
 number at 23%. And accompany/family had approximately 15%. Look for job and study were at 13% and 7% respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words reason with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: