IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services
such
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 as roads and schools,
while
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 others believe that high
taxes
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 are detrimental. I agree that people should pay a significant portion of their salaries as
taxes
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, albeit under certain conditions.
Firstly
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, I suggest that governments should adjust
tax
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 rates based on specific circumstances.
For instance
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, during colder seasons,
taxes
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 could be slightly reduced because people face higher heating and utility bills.
Conversely
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,
taxes
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 could be increased during warmer seasons when
such
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 expenses are lower.
This
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 approach acknowledges the importance of
taxes
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 in fostering a country’s development, including improvements to roads and infrastructure.
Secondly
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, I recognize that larger families may struggle with high
tax
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 rates. To address
this
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, the government should consider reducing
tax
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 burdens for families with more members.
This
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 would ensure a fairer distribution of the
tax
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 load and alleviate financial pressure on these households. In conclusion, I support the idea that the government should collect a substantial portion of citizens’ income as
taxes
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, but the
tax
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 rates should be calculated in a way
that is
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 reasonable and beneficial to the population. A well-funded public sector is essential for a country’s development, including maintaining high-quality infrastructure and roads. To achieve
this
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, it is crucial for citizens to contribute through
taxes
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, but these contributions should be fair and considerate of individual circumstances.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples, such as mentioning specific countries' tax policies, to enhance your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure each main idea is well developed with examples and analysis to completely address the question.
coherence and cohesion
Although the essay is generally well organized, check for smooth transitions between ideas to ensure clear connections.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both views on the issue and provides a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly encapsulate the main arguments of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph logically follows from the next, creating a good flow in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion of salary
  • Necessary public services
  • Economic growth
  • Quality of life
  • Redistributing wealth
  • Discourage
  • Motivation and productivity
  • Favorable tax conditions
  • Infringement on personal freedom
  • Balanced approach
  • Progressive tax system
  • Economic activity
  • Financial growth
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