IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion

#life #work #time #people
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Almost of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer a lifespan without working to working hard one. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay disagrees with non-work life compared to spending their time in employment to gain experience, physical and mental benefits, and earn a living cost. One of the primary reasons why working is particularly compulsory is how they use time
funds
Correct word choice
and funds
show examples
 to get valuable things or achievements during the period of life.
In other words
Linking Words
, worldwide knowledge is infinitive
folk
Use synonyms
 only understand a tiny per cent of it,
also
Linking Words
 that employing a job to make more friends can bring back to you a luxurious treasure or opportunities for promotion in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, some Vietnamese elderlies take working as their hobby and they work 9 to 5 throughout challenges of age. Indeed, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 tend to be strictly hardcore working to trust the meaning of life Another advantageous aspect of working, most of the time is that
folk
Use synonyms
 earn money to pay for the cost of living.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the finances of each family are different but
people
Use synonyms
 still need a job to support their expenditures.
For example
Linking Words
, poverty-stricken
folk
Use synonyms
 could try their efforts as double as the
people
Use synonyms
 born into wealthy families to solve their circumstances.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 labour
due to
Linking Words
 the hope of richness and poverty eradication In conclusion, working provides countless benefits to
folk
Use synonyms
, whether by the amount of knowledge gained or by earning money.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 ought to widen their horizons to have various knowledgeable stock in many kinds of fields.

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coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to enhance the overall fluency of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph thoroughly develops a single main idea to avoid confusion and improve clarity.
task achievement
Review and correct minor grammatical errors to make your writing more polished.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your main points and increase persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and supported by examples, reflecting good understanding of the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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