Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a common view that what people do to preserve has not had much influence on the
environment
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,
while
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others believe in the opposite way.
This
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writer will discuss both views and make my own statement. It is evident that many people around the world are unaware of
such
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an essential problem in the ecosystem. More actions should be taken to alleviate the issue.
In other words
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, the government should take action by applying new rules to the citizens and making them applicate.
However
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, the nation's system does not solve it in the right way.
For example
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, they promulgated the rules but did not put any punishments on someone who did not accept
that
Correct your spelling
them
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,
therefore
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, it led to many citizens still pouring
out
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apply
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trash
to
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into
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rivers, lakes, and beaches.
This
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action not only
destroy
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destroys
show examples
the
environment
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but
also
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the beauty of sites. The opposite side is somehow true because we are living in the digital era with advanced technologies. With them, we can make products that are eco-friendly and easily disposed to the ground without any harm to the
environment
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.
Furthermore
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, fossil fuels are decreasing more and more and soon there will not be much of them. By applying alternative energy, we could lead to a friendlier
environment
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. In my opinion, I would lean to the viewpoint that we can do something to shield our
environment
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in light of the fact that numerous issues previously had been resolved by a collaboration of countless humans. Recommendations would be to educate society to enhance their awareness about the ecosystem,
such
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as teaching students our current condition and the possible consequences in the near future. In conclusion, the problem we are facing is whether what we do to improve the
environment
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has a practical impact or not. I believe that we have not done something much to ease
this
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situation.
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a good opening by mentioning the two views, but it could be clearer. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
task achievement
While your essay addresses both perspectives, it would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Use data, anecdotes, or studies where possible.
coherence cohesion
In the body paragraphs, ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and includes supporting evidence. Your second body paragraph is stronger than the first in this regard.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, but the transitions between paragraphs can be improved to enhance coherence. Using linking words and phrases more effectively can help.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points more succinctly and restate your opinion clearly without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Your opinions are clear, but integrating more comprehensive ideas would make them more compelling.
task achievement
Your essay shows a balanced consideration of both views, which is excellent for presenting a comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
The language used is generally clear, and the essay is easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your opinion is well-positioned in the essay, making it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-friendly
  • collective impact
  • grassroots movements
  • systemic changes
  • sustainable products
  • environmental degradation
  • coordinated actions
  • policy changes
  • environmental-friendly policies
  • advocacy efforts
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