As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Overall
, I agree with the statement that the
internet
is dominating the world, and because of its convenience and accessibility
people
prefer the
internet
to watch the
news
instead
of
newspapers
these days.
To begin
with, technology has become an indispensable part of life, and the
internet
is one of the
marvelous
Change the spelling
marvellous
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inventions of technology. In the past times
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of technological advancements
people
used to read the
news
from
disctinct
Correct your spelling
distinct
newspapers
, and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
was the only source through which they could stay connected with the world.
On the other hand
, in
modern
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the modern
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world, the
internet
is the most preferable medium for
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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updates, first of all, everyone has
internet
Correct article usage
an internet
show examples
connection on their mobile phones which makes it a
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
source.
Besides
this
,
people
can watch the
news
any time they want as they no longer have to wait for the
delievery
Correct your spelling
delivery
of the newspaper
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,
for example
, they can turn on the web and can watch the
news
even
while
travelling. Apart from that, getting
the
Correct article usage
an
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internet
connection is quite cheap as compared to
newspapers
.
People
only have to pay a couple of dollars each month, and sometimes,
for instance
, many companies have promotional offers as well which makes it even more affordable.
Also
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Also,
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the
internet
can
covers
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cover
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vast
Add an article
a vast
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variety of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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news
of
Change preposition
from
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its own nation and
also
from different nations,
while
a newspaper has only a few pages which cannot do that much coverage.
Moreover
, on the
internet
there are distinct apps like Facebook, YouTube, and many more where
people
can see visuals and other videos related to the
news
;
however
,
this
feature is not possible in
newspapers
. In conclusion, there are so many features that the
internet
has like convenience, accessibility, visuals and videos,
vast
Correct word choice
and vast
show examples
coverage, which makes it a quite popular source for watching the
news
;
however
, these
charactersitics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
are not available in
newspapers
.
Submitted by harleenarora620 on

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task achievement
Your response thoroughly addresses the task by discussing both the rise of the internet and its impact on newspapers. However, try to balance your arguments more evenly. Spend some time discussing any remaining advantages of newspapers to show a more balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents clear ideas and flows logically from one point to another. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main point of that paragraph.
task achievement
While your main points are supported well, incorporating more relevant and specific examples can strengthen your argument. Providing data, statistics, or a brief anecdote can make your essay even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but consider making your conclusion slightly longer to summarize your points more comprehensively. This can give a more polished ending to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are clear and easy to follow, making it straightforward for the reader to understand your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported with explanations, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that frame your argument well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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