IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Overall
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, I agree with the statement that the
internet
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 is dominating the world, and because of its convenience and accessibility
people
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 prefer the
internet
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 to watch the
news
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instead
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 of
newspapers
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 these days.
To begin
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 with, technology has become an indispensable part of life, and the
internet
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 is one of the
marvelous
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marvellous
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 inventions of technology. In the past times
due to
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lack
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a lack
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 of technological advancements
people
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 used to read the
news
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 from
disctinct
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distinct
newspapers
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, and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 was the only source through which they could stay connected with the world.
On the other hand
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, in
modern
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the modern
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 world, the
internet
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 is the most preferable medium for
latest
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the latest
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 updates, first of all, everyone has
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internet
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an internet
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 connection on their mobile phones which makes it a
convenience
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convenient
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 source.
Besides
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this
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,
people
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 can watch the
news
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 any time they want as they no longer have to wait for the
delievery
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delivery
 of the newspaper
everyday
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every day
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,
for example
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, they can turn on the web and can watch the
news
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 even
while
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 travelling. Apart from that, getting
the
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an
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internet
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 connection is quite cheap as compared to
newspapers
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.
People
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 only have to pay a couple of dollars each month, and sometimes,
for instance
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, many companies have promotional offers as well which makes it even more affordable.
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Also
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Also,
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 the
internet
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 can
covers
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cover
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vast
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a vast
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 variety of
the
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apply
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news
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of
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from
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 its own nation and
also
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 from different nations,
while
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 a newspaper has only a few pages which cannot do that much coverage.
Moreover
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, on the
internet
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 there are distinct apps like Facebook, YouTube, and many more where
people
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 can see visuals and other videos related to the
news
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;
however
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,
this
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 feature is not possible in
newspapers
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. In conclusion, there are so many features that the
internet
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 has like convenience, accessibility, visuals and videos,
vast
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and vast
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 coverage, which makes it a quite popular source for watching the
news
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;
however
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, these
charactersitics
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characteristics
 are not available in
newspapers
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.

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task achievement
Your response thoroughly addresses the task by discussing both the rise of the internet and its impact on newspapers. However, try to balance your arguments more evenly. Spend some time discussing any remaining advantages of newspapers to show a more balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents clear ideas and flows logically from one point to another. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main point of that paragraph.
task achievement
While your main points are supported well, incorporating more relevant and specific examples can strengthen your argument. Providing data, statistics, or a brief anecdote can make your essay even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but consider making your conclusion slightly longer to summarize your points more comprehensively. This can give a more polished ending to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are clear and easy to follow, making it straightforward for the reader to understand your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported with explanations, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that frame your argument well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
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