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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children while others claim it has positive effect for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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 digital age, it is believed that enjoying TV programs is considered harmful to the young generation,
whereas
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 the majority assume that the mature period in children can be beneficial
due to
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this
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 sort of entertainment. From the writer’s experience, despite watching television can have a negative impact on children
due to
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 the need to avoid early interactions with technology, it is indisputable that the benefits of enhancing creativity and offering a range of languages for offspring are worth mentioning. It must be acknowledged that children can perceive positive content from images via watching TV, which supports wisdom and provides a wider perspective. To clarify, the young generation can gain knowledge by acquiring the fundamentals in
such
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 aspects in these perceptions, the offspring could enhance their study progress.
This
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 is true in the US, the younger age groups are being encouraged to be exposed to images on TV with the purpose of giving them better opportunities to sustain themselves with studying.
Nevertheless
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, a majority assumed that early exposure to the younger ones is negative
due to
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 the need for reality engagement. Specifically, most parents oriented their offspring to become engaged with realistic interactions to fulfil their childhood,
along with
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 evading the potential of digital addiction.
This
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 point may be true to certain extents, yet with an appropriate length of time exposure to television content, the minors could still manage to fully grow without any obstacles
along with
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 positive changes in mindful status.
Therefore
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, the potential for the young generation to encounter adversities from television programs is minimal. From the writer’s experience, it is legal and necessary for offspring to develop alongside
this
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 sort of digital advance.
In other words
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, adolescents could get access to a diversity of languages in which different cultures can be expressed.
Consequently
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, they will gain more opportunities to find out more about the features of a range of cultures globally.
For instance
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, Mrs. Khanh Vy, a freelancer in Vietnam, has become bilingual by accessing different cultural exchanges on screen.
To conclude
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, watching broadcasts can be profitable to the young descendants because it wide in providing different languages, and cultures
along with
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 triggering creativity enhancement. Yet it is a concern that juveniles can become bad because of
this
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,
however
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, it can be solved by appropriate management in time.

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task achievement
While the essay responds well to the task, there are a few points where clarity could be improved. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details tied closely to that idea.
coherence cohesion
Consider working on the transitions between ideas to ensure they are as smooth and logical as possible. Explicit connectors or transitional phrases can help guide the reader more seamlessly through your argument.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both views and articulate your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured argument.
task achievement
You include relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • moral and ethical development
  • sedentary behavior
  • obesity
  • academic performance
  • intellectual growth
  • educational TV programs
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • language acquisition
  • listening skills
  • entertainment and relaxation
  • family bonding
  • parental guidance
  • age-appropriate
  • viewing time
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