In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home outweigh the disadvantages ?

In
this
present world, some family prefer to let their children study at
home
rather than school.
This
writer believes that
being study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in school will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more effectively outweigh the advantages of studying at
home
.
Firstly
, studying at school
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
than at
home
.
For example
, when you do
workshop
Add an article
a workshop
show examples
with your friends, effective communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
important that you should learn about. You can talk with your classmates to be confident in yourself.
Moreover
, it has been required in many places around the world which is a good remarkable to get a job.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the teachers have more qualifications,
hence
, they can explain in detail deeply, which will translate information in the best way to students.
Secondly
, learning alone at
home
may lead your life to be miserable.
For instance
, in
this
time without
acceredited
Correct your spelling
accredited
certification and
a good knowledge
Remove the article
good knowledge
a piece of good knowledge
show examples
, it is almost impossible to get a job, which will make your life harder.
In other words
, you have to be highly educated to make your life easier.
In addition
, if parents
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not qualified, they cannot
delivered
Change the verb form
deliver
be delivered
show examples
knowledge to their kids,
therefore
, worse knowledge
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
poor
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
and
this
will
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
future.
To conclude
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accredited certification is important for every person, which
is not allow
Change the verb form
does not allow
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people to get
without
Change preposition
apply
show examples
educated at university.
It is clear that
learning at institutes is more beneficial than at
home
, more effectively.
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and is well-developed. Expand on your points with more detailed explanations and examples.
task achievement
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and vocabulary to express ideas more clearly and accurately.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. Ensure each argument flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Make sure the essay addresses all parts of the question equally. Consider including a paragraph discussing the potential advantages of homeschooling as well, to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Revisit sentence structures to avoid repetition and increase variety. This will make your essay more engaging and readable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a sense of completeness.
task achievement
The main points provided are relevant to the topic and show an understanding of the issues involved.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeschooling
  • Tailored educational approaches
  • One-on-One Attention
  • Safe Learning Environment
  • Cost-Effective
  • Family Bonding
  • Limited Socialization
  • Potential Knowledge Gaps
  • Regulatory Challenges
  • Dependence on Parental Commitment
  • Limited Extracurricular Opportunities
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