The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Prioritising
education
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for
younger
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the younger
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generation is universally acknowledged, with countries investing significant
resources
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in
this
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endeavour.
While
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educating adults who lack basic literacy skills is important, diverting more financial
resources
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towards
this
Linking Words
cause may not be the most effective strategy. In
this
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essay, I will argue against the notion that educating
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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illeterate
Correct your spelling
illiterate
is more important, and government should allocate additional funds to the
education
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of
the
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apply
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adults who cannot read or write. Primarily, investing in the
education
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of
the
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apply
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young people is a strategic approach that addresses the root of the issue. By providing
education
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through formative years, societies can empower young people with foundational skills that extend into adulthood.
For instance
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, countries with robust primary
education
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systems often witness lower rates of
adult
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illiteracy
due to
Linking Words
the early cultivation of essential skills.
Furthermore
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, the allocation of
the
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apply
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resources
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should consider the broader impact on societal development. Concentrating solely on
adult
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education
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may neglect
potential
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the potential
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contributions
youth
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of youth
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to the
overall
Linking Words
process of a nation. A well-educated and skilled
workfoce
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workforce
emerging from a comprehensive
education
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system can drive economic growth, technological innovation, and societal development. By fostering a literate and skilled younger generation, governments lay the foundation for sustainable progress across various sectors. In conclusion,
while
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addressing
adult
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illteracy
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illiteracy
literacy
is important, enhancing the
education
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of young people remains a strategic investment that yields multifaceted benefits for
the
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apply
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society. The allocation of the
resources
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that
prioritises
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prioritise
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comprehensive
education
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during the early years
ensure
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ensures
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a more sustainable and impactful approach to societal development and
therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adult
Use synonyms
education
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should never get more priority in terms of
effors
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efforts
effort
,
resources
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and funds from the state.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt clearly and directly. While the essay generally argues against allocating more funds toward adult education, it should more explicitly acknowledge the importance of this education and discuss it in more balanced terms.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all paragraphs are logically connected and flow smoothly from one idea to the next. There are a few abrupt transitions that could be improved by adding linking words or phrases.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This can help strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-presented, but they could be more thoroughly developed. Each point should be clearly explained and supported with details or examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and contribute towards answering the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
What to do next:
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