Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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The debate over whether
team
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or individual
sports
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better prepare children for their future prospects is ongoing.
While
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some argue that
team
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sports
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provide essential skills, including conversation and teamwork, I believe that individual activities offer more significant benefits. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain why I consider individual exercises to be the superior choice for children's achievement.
To begin
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, there are many advantages to selecting
team
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sports
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.
Firstly
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,
team
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sports
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help offspring achieve essential skills needed in the near future,
such
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as communication, presentation, and teamwork.
In particular
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, teamwork participants are required to contribute their abilities to the common success. Members must have communication techniques to present their ideas and logical thinking to support or argue against other members' initiatives. They must persuade other attendees with their critical arguments and generate faith in their
team
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about the success rate of their decisions. After making the final decision, people cooperate with a common purpose for the accomplishment of the match rather than personal achievement.
Secondly
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,
although
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personal records are important, recognition from teammates or colleagues is one of the primary satisfactions for participants.
Lastly
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,
team
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sports
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foster a sense of belonging, which makes people responsible individuals and teaches them about the power of a united organization to overcome many difficult challenges.
For instance
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, the Vietnamese have attempted to deal with a specific infectious pandemic by joining hands to support the poor and disabled.
Conversely
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, opponents insist that individual exercise is an elite decision because these exercises build a self-discipline spirit, which motivates children to move forward to achieve their target records.
This
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responsibility generates more pressure that helps them become a better version of themselves, resulting in pride in their achievements regardless of their ranking as they tried their best.
In addition
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, personal competition requires independence and self-control to handle stress and external distractions.
This
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trains a determined individual, allowing them to persist with their goal and overcome challenges on their route to success. Adapting to stress resilience and focusing more on their aim could lead to a greater outcome. In conclusion,
while
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team
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sports
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offer valuable opportunities for developing communication techniques and fostering a sense of community, individual activities provide crucial advantages in building self-discipline and independence. From my perspective, individual activities are the better choice for preparing offspring for their future work lives. The responsible spirit and personal resilience developed through individual
sports
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are invaluable assets that can lead to greater accomplishment.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both perspectives and providing your own opinion. However, try to incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical and well-organized. To improve coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs for an even more cohesive flow.
task response
You provided a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your stance.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and restates your opinion, making it clear and impactful.
coherence cohesion
The essay is mostly cohesive with a logical flow of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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