Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.
This
is a day and ageLinking Words
,
when many human Remove the comma
apply
being
transfer to live in another country because of variations in causes Fix the agreement mistake
beings
such
as economic and education every year. There are a large number of upside Linking Words
attitude
for individuals and all of the Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
society
like increasing knowledge and improving Use synonyms
health
and economic system. Use synonyms
However
, there are lots of downside Linking Words
condition
which affect human Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
being
and Fix the agreement mistake
beings
society
as a whole Use synonyms
such
as missing families and friends and decreasing jobs. Linking Words
This
essay will explain the benefits and drawbacks of Linking Words
movement
for Correct article usage
the movement
nation
and for all Add an article
the nation
of
the public.
On the Change preposition
apply
one
hand, the advantage of transfer is for persons and Use synonyms
society
as a whole. Use synonyms
firstly
, the development of knowledge and getting a new culture are some of the advantages of transfer for Linking Words
entity
. Many Add an article
the entity
an entity
nation
abroad have free time, so they are learning new something and learning a modern culture. Change to a plural noun
nations
For example
, learn a new language. Linking Words
Moreover
, improvement in the Linking Words
health
and education system is Use synonyms
one
of the benefits of Use synonyms
shift
for all communities. an increasing number of people who come from other countries have contributed to the development of the Correct article usage
the shift
health
systems, the education system, and other fields.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages of exodus for people and all of the association. Linking Words
One
of the drawbacks which affect an individual is the missing of family and friends. Many folk have a strong relationship with their family and friends, Use synonyms
thus
most of them suffer Linking Words
health
problems because Use synonyms
this
is missing. Linking Words
In addition
, dropping jobs for the original crowd since there are large numbers of human Linking Words
being
who come from other countries. Fix the agreement mistake
beings
This
is Linking Words
one
of the negative Use synonyms
facet
of Change to a plural noun
facets
shift
for Correct article usage
the shift
society
as a whole.
In conclusion, there are many positive and negativeUse synonyms
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
of
Change preposition
to
journey
for people and the association as a whole.Add an article
the journey
a journey
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all parts of the prompt. You have discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of migration, but some points could be elaborated further for clarity and depth.
task achievement
Work on providing clear and comprehensive ideas in your essay. Try to strengthen your arguments by adding more specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and uses linking devices effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. The logical flow can be improved.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points to discuss and the conclusion summarizes them effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the key points of the prompt and tries to balance the discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of migration.
task achievement
You have made an effort to include an introduction and conclusion, which helps give your essay a sense of completeness.
coherence cohesion
You attempted to use transition words to connect your ideas, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand,' which shows an understanding of how to structure a balanced argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example