Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In these fast-paced days, families feel the urge to get help to raise their
kids
in the best way possible. Since most of
Change preposition
apply
The
parents are working, it is undeniably vital to choose their optimum helpers. Some people believe that Correct article usage
apply
kindegartens
are the most suitable Correct your spelling
kindergarteners
while
others insist on dropping off their kids
at their grandparents . Each view have
its own fans Change the verb form
has
however
I side with childcare centres
which areyielding
better results.
On one hand, many families tend to get professional help from kindergartens to take care of offspring for many obvious reasons. First and probably most , Correct your spelling
are yielding
yielding
centres
provide variety
of instructors and practical game courses rather than just taking care of them in that particular hours. Add an article
a variety
As a
result
teamwork and a sense of sharing can be grown at Add a comma
result,
the
very early Correct article usage
a
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
of
life Change preposition
in
.
Correct your spelling
Consequently
consequently
playing with their peer group will build this
social character more comprehensively.
On the other hand
, some mothers are naturally super protective so that their sole trust corner is the house of their baby's grandmother.Inevitably these senior guardians are a big help in the financial aspect. Since the effect of high inflation rates is no surprise for anyone as a result
many working parents may not be able to afford those expensive daycare services .As a result
,it is believed that children can also
get the chance to cherish the feeling of support and make stronger family bonds in their seniors' company.
In conclusion , the caregiving option in centres
alongside the child's peer groups which
improves their actions in Correct pronoun usage
apply
societies
and teamwork. Another group prefer their Fix the agreement mistake
society
kids
to be taken care by
their grandparents to support them financially. Change preposition
of by
Although
Both sides has
their own logical merits,I assume the caregiver Change the verb form
have
centres
' labour seems inexorably irreplaceable so families should not withhold any expenditure from their kids
and understand the serious role of a
professional help rather than just spending some time with an older guardian.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by Narges
on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt and discusses both views, which is essential. However, you could enhance your arguments by offering more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points effectively.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented, but there are a few places where the language could be more precise. Avoid repetitive phrases and unnecessary fillers to make your writing more engaging and effective.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, certain parts of the essay should be more clearly connected. Use transitional phrases and sentences to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding paragraph successfully summarizes the main points and gives your perspective. Consider strengthening your conclusion by reiterating the importance of your viewpoint with additional convincing arguments.
coherence cohesion
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and provide a logical conclusion, which strengthens the overall coherence of your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, showing a well-rounded approach to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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