Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that
arts
Use synonyms
education is as significant as the
study
Use synonyms
of other subjects, especially for primary
students
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
viewpoint because some educational content could be better illustrated in the
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
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of
arts
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, and the
study
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of
arts
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is one key consideration
which
Correct word choice
that
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fosters
all-rounded
Correct article usage
the all-rounded
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growth of young
students
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. The
arts
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could deliver information to
students
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, especially to those attending primary schools, in a way that words in textbooks sometimes cannot.
Children
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may become bored and tired if they have to read or listen to too much educational content in textbooks. A
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
painting or a catchy
song
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, can be much more appealing and
thus
Linking Words
more effective in conveying information to these
children
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the Ghen Covy
song
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has been taught at most schools in Vietnam and has become one of
Use synonyms
children’s
Add an article
the children’s
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favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
songs.
This
Linking Words
song
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has effectively highlighted the importance of hand washing as a means of disease prevention
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and has made it easier for many
children
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to remember every step of hand sanitization for its catchy melody and appealing dancing moves.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
study
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of
arts
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is one factor that contributes to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
comprehensive development of young
students
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.
While
Linking Words
academic subjects focus on
children
Use synonyms
’s cognitive development,
arts
Use synonyms
education
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
children
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to develop their social-emotional skills. By singing a
song
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or drawing a picture, these
children
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are likely to express their feelings and nurture their sense of community.
For example
Linking Words
, thousands of Vietnamese
children
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, who were encouraged by their teaching staff, drew pictures of sunflowers to deliver messages of love and support for pediatric cancer patients. In conclusion, the
arts
Use synonyms
can sometimes be better at transmitting knowledge than textbooks, and the provision of both academic and
arts
Use synonyms
education is necessary for
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
all-rounded growth of young
students
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that the
study
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of
arts
Use synonyms
should never be underestimated in any
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
educational institution.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

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task achievement
Consider providing a bit more balance by acknowledging counterarguments to make your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is mostly cohesive, try to use a wider range of linking words to enhance the fluidity of ideas.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position and provided strong arguments to support it, which meets the task response criteria well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to back your points, which strengthens your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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